Impossible!
by Asha3
Summary: [Part One Completed] To stand up and walk forward might not be as easy as you think. Sadly, Ed and Winry had to learn it the hard way. But together... hopefully something good might come out of it. [Prior to eps.1] EdxWin!
1. That Day, Four Years Ago

**Impossible!**

FullMetal Alchemist Fanfiction

**Pairing**: EdxWin

**Rating**: K (plus) / PG

**Base**: Mostly Manga (books), though I'll probably got some minor stuff mixed up.

**Timeline**: Right after The Elrics Incident. Edward 11. Win 10. Al 10.

**Summary**: Pre-Series! Recovering from an Automail Surgery was not a small thing. With frustrated Edward as the patient and fuming Winry as the therapist, disaster shook the Rockbell household as all fights between them starts. And along with it their relationship grew. EdxWin!

**Note**: This fic is an extended version of an EdxWin one-shot I've written. You don't have to read iy to understand this fic, it's actually the other way around. This is not something big, more like a drabble that was a bit long, just few ideas that I wanted to write but somehow do not fit well for a one-shot fic. Might not be long, about 10-12 chapters, might be shorter depending on my plot bunny.

**Warnings**: Angst and drama for the first couple of chapters.

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**Impossible!**

**Prologue**

That Day, Four Years Ago

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_Rizenbool - June 23rd, 1910_

It was raining. Hard. The wind made the large glass windows that faced the second floor porch of the Rockbell's resident rattled in protest. Ten years old Winry Rockbell sat on the sofa behind those windows with a pout on her face, watching the grey sky like a hawk. In her opinion, a gigantic water balloon somewhere up there must have exploded, causing it to rain so much.

At that particular moment, Winry Rockbell hated the rain. If it wasn't for the fact that it was raining as hard, she might be able to sneak out to the Elric's.

She blew her cheeks so it would look like a balloon.

Thunders stroke down rapidly and Winry hugged Tilly harder to her chest. Tilly doll was the first gift the Elric brothers had given to her. She still shivers when she remembered the alchemical reaction she had seen, though she wouldn't trade the doll for anything. How could she? The doll was the first gift she had accepted from a friend.

Ed and Al were up to something. She just knew because they barely talked to her that day. It didn't quite surprise her, that the brothers would not share some things with her. They had become quite secretive ever since their mother died, so she had gotten used to feel excluded. Though that didn't mean she was okay with it. Actually, it hurted her a lot when her best friends kept something for themselves. But as she had said, she had gotten used to it.

The boys, like always, had brought alchemy books when they were at school, so they had to be working on something alchemy-related. Through out the classes, they were engaged in a deep discussion. Their math teacher had given up telling them to pay attention months ago, so she just let them. It had to be something serious, because she didn't saw Ed's usual arrogant smirk planted on his face when she stole a glance at him. So, whatever the boys were planning, it had to be something big. And the best part was: they didn't want her in.

Lightning stroke down again, just seconds before the thunder arrived. She saw something large and dark moving at the nearby field, possibly a person.

Winry stood up and approached the window. She plastered her face to the glass as if it would help her see, but the sky was very dark and it's still raining, though not as heavy as it was half an hour ago. She waited again patiently for another strike of light.

When it came, she saw the person a lot closer to the house then before. He (she assumed the person was a man for no woman could possibly be that big) had almost reached their wooden fences. He kept running, and didn't seem to have any intention of changing his direction.

_'Who would leave his house in this kind of weather?'_

Winry bolted downstairs to find her grandmother. "Granny!" she called.

Pinako Rockbell appeared form the kitchen, complete with her apron and spatula. "What is it, Winry?"

"Someone's coming! I saw him running to this house from upstairs."

As if on cue, there was a rough knock on their door.

Pinako frowned as she put down her spatula and took off her apron. She then approached the stove and turn off the fire.

The person at the door knocked again roughly. "Yes! Yes! I'm coming! Who are you to come at this kind of weather?" Pinako shouted as she walked hastily to the door.

Winry tailed her, still hugging Tilly close to her chest.

"Granny!" a familliar voice answered shakily behind the door, "Please,"

Pinako's frowned deepened, her hand stopped at the door knob.

"Please help!" the voice echoed weirdly, but that might be because of the rain.

Pinako opened the door, and she froze.

Winry gasped in horror. Tilly fell to the floor but she had forgotten that the doll was even there. Her hands flew to her mouth and her eyes widened.

The sight would forever be seared into her mind.

A giant suit of armor, wet from the raining, was kneeling at their doorway. Something red… blood kept dripping like a leaking tab from someone in its arms.

"It's me, Alphonse!" said the armor.

Winry's eyes slid from the bluish steel armor to the person in its arm, and she swore her stopped.

"Granny, please!" the armor pleaded.

'_No,'_ her mind screamed, _'no, it can't be!'_

"Please help Nii-san!"

Ed laid there. Unmoving. His right shoulder and left leg were covered with blood-red scrap of clothes, tied messily into some sort of bandage. Both body parts missing.

Something broke inside of Winry. She choked a sob and her heart thundered ragely. She couldn't think. She couldn't move. Like watching a muted film, suddenly all sounds ceased to exist. She watched her grandmother's lips move in a sentence, but she heard nothing. All she could do was staring at the blonde haired boy.

Both her grandma and the armor finally moved, they were heading towards the surgery room. It was when the armor turned its back on her and she could no longer see Ed that she finally snapped out of her trance. All sounds came crashing down on her like water through a broken dam.

"Alphonse, put him down on that bed! I'll be right back! Don't take those clothes off him!" she heard her grandma shouted.

The armor replied in a yes and there were clanging sounds of something metal hitting the floor repeatedly.

Her grandma rushed out of the surgery room, and head towards her. "Get my surgery set from my room, Winry! Meet me in the kitchen after you've found them!" she ordered.

Winry hurriedly went up to the second stairs. She rummaged trough her grandma's cabinet and found the surgery set in the second drawer. She ran back as fast as she could to the kitchen.

She found her grandma holding a steel knife above the fire on the stove. "G-granny…" she stuttered, staring at the huge knife.

Pinako turned to her and said, "Put them down the table, and help me boils some water."

Winry did as she was told to and filled a large kettle with water. She brought the kettle to her grandma so she could put it on the stove.

The knife was starting to glow amber. Winry could not take her eyes off it. "G-granny…?"

"What is it, Winry?"

"Ed… you can help him, right? You're a great doctor, right? Ed will be fine… he's not gonna die, right?" Winry didn't even know what she was saying anymore.

Pinako stayed silent. She didn't really expect her to answer.

They got into a pregnant silence.

The kettle gave a shriek and Pinako told Winry to hold on the knife as she poured the steaming water into a large bowl. She then took the bowl out of the kitchen, leaving Winry alone with the glowing knife.

She knew what it was for. She didn't read all those medical books in her parent's room for nothing. Her grandma didn't burn the knife so it would be sterile for a surgery; they have disinfectants to do that. A large burning knife, if used correctly, can melt even flesh so it would close the wound and stop the bleeding effectively. Her grandma was going to sear Ed's wound.

The thought made her hand shook as she held the steel utensils. She used her both hands because she didn't want to drop it. Although she knew the action was necessary, she couldn't help but fear for Ed.

Her grandma appeared again, in her surgery robe, complete with the mask. She took the knife and said, "Stay here."

She actually needed a while to really understand what her grandma had said. She quickly bolted after her, "No! Granny, I wanna be there with him!"

"No, Winry," her grandma replied firmly, she was walking fast. Winry knew she had to sear the wound before the knife went cold.

"I want to help!"

"Do as I say!" Pinako shouted fiercely.

Winry took steps back in shock, and that gave her grandme enough time to slip into the surgery room and close the door.

She just stood there, not knowing what to do. No, actually she wanted to lurch at the door and bang it until they let her in, but she know her grandma need full attention if she wanted to save Ed.

For the first couple of seconds, there was no sound coming from inside the room. Then it started. She heard him screamed in pain.

Her whole body shook in anger, anger for herself. She was angry because she could not be useful enough so her grandma would let her into the room. She was angry because she could not do anything to help. She was angry because she could not be there with her best friends when they needed her most.

She wanted to go in there. She wanted to hold Edward's hand and tell him that it would be over soon.

Edward suddenly stopped screaming.

Winry felt her heart crushed. She prayed that Edward was allright. That he had just passed out. That he's not dead.

She had never felt so excluded in her life… so confused… so empty. She dropped to her knees and brought her hands to her face.

"Ed… Ed, please be safe," she whispered, her body shaking but no longer from anger.

After her parent's death, Winry Rockbell thought there was nothing in the world that would be equally disastrous. That there was nothing in the world that would ever make her cry as hard.

But at that moment, Winry found herself crying just as hard as when she realized that she would never see her parents again.

**OoooTBCoooO**

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Nii-san : short form of Onii-san. It means Older-brother in a respected kind of way. 

A/N: Likey? Likey? PLZ forgive my language errors! Review! Don't now when I'll update again, I'm in the middle of my final Exam. but that catually motivates me more. Teehee.


	2. Gone

**Impossible!**

**A Fanfiction of Fullmetal Achemist**

**Pairing**: EdxWin

**Rating**: K (plus) / PG

**Base**: Mostly Manga (books), though I'll probably got some minor stuff mixed up.

**Timeline**: 4 days after The Elrics Incident. Edward 11. Win 10. Al 10.

**Summary**: Pre-Series! Recovering from an Automail Surgery was not a small thing. With frustrated Edward as the patient and fuming Winry as the therapist, disaster shook the Rockbell household as all fights between them starts. EdxWin!

**Note**: Woa... update. Faster than I've actually thought! Hurray my plot bunny!

**Warnings**: Angst and drama for the first couple of chapters. (What the... I swear I intended to make this fic as light as possible. This is all angst! Grr... -eyeing the plot bunny irritably-)

**

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**

**Impossible!**

**Chapter One**

**Gone**

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__Rizenbool - June 27th, 1910_

Winry opened the door of their guest room quietly. Morning sun rays peeked from between the gaps of a lime green curtain that hung on the left side of the bed. Soft chirping sounds could be heard from outside the window that faced their front yard.

Soft steady breaths came from the blonde haired boy that was sleeping deeply on the bed. Blanket was pulled up to his chin, hiding the mass of bandages that was covering his wounds. Near the bed stood a wooden chair, a bucket of cold water and a rug on it, a silent proof from his fever that had just broken a couple of hours before dawn.

Winry felt a familiar uneasiness crept up her heart. Something between worry and anxious… or both of them mixed together with the addition of confusion. Whatever the feeling was called, she didn't like it one bit. The fact that she had been feeling that way for the last four days did not thrilled her at all, and it certainly didn't help explaining things.

Sighing, she turned her attention to the other person in the room.

Al, now in his big metal body, slumped at the opposite wall facing the bed. Head bowed down, seemed like he was deep in thoughts. Winry knew he did not sleep, because sometimes at nights she sneaked into the room to see how they're doing. He stayed up day and night beside his brother. And when he was not dealing with Edward's fever, Al did not make any motions at all. If Winry didn't know better, she would have thought that he was just an empty giant suit of armor.

'_He IS an empty suit of armor,' _

Winry shook he head to dismiss the thought. _'No!' _she said firmly to her self,_ 'Al is Al! His voice is his! His personality is his! He's just…'_

Her eyes trailed back to the bluish armor. _'He's just a lot bigger now.'_

She bowed her head down in shame. She shouldn't have thought like that. What would Ed say if he knew….

'_What WOULD he say?'_ her conscience snickered sarcastically. _'It's not like he had even responded to you!'_

Winry shook her head again, this time in annoyance.

True, since he was awaken, Edward had not given her more then a mere glace. Just a disorientated take in of his surroundings the first time he awoke for from a deep sedated sleep two days ago. Then he fixed his eyes on the steel body of Al for a long time, all the guilt he could have written all over his face.

He had not said another word to anyone except Al ever since. And when he did talk, it would be just a flat _'yes'_, _'no'_, and _'oh'_.

He would avoid meeting anyone's eyes and stare all day long at the white wall in front of him with a blank expression.

When he was sleeping, he kept having nightmares. He kept moaning incoherent phrases and muttering words like _'okaa-san'_, _'gomenasai',_ and his brother's name.

He was slipping into some state of depression. Winry could see it in his eyes. He had lost his mischievous and arrogant glint that made him the Edward she knew. His golden eyes were now darker… and dull. Almost like his life had escaped him, leaving him like broken doll.

Something inside Edward was eating him alive, and Winry really wanted to fix him.

"Winry?" the weird echo of Alphonse's voice startled her. She came back down to the earth with a crash.

She gave Al a sheepish smile, "I brought breakfast for Ed."

"Oh… Thanks, Winry," Al replied, trying to stand up.

She stopped him promptly, "No, Al! It's okay. You don't have to stand up." She shouldered the door so it'd open wider and slipped into the room with the breakfast tray in her hands. She pushed the door close softly with her back.

Al stood up anyway and took the tray from her hands.

Winry shuffled her feet, "It's not much… Granny said Ed shouldn't eat solid food just yet, so I made porridge."

But Al was staring at a bottle of white liquid that accompanied the bowl of porridge.

Winry waited for him to say something about the milk, but Al remained quiet.

But then again, he had been that way for the last four days. They would sit beside the unconscious boy without passing conversation. They had created some sort of quiet between them. It was not awkward, but the silence was new for both of them that Winry couldn't help but feel uneasy when she thought about it.

She tired not to sigh in relief. She knew bringing milk was not the best idea in the world; she just didn't really want to explain. Who knew how a depressed Ed would react if he had seen it.

But… that exactly what she hoped to get from him, a reaction. She wanted the scornful and averse look Edward always had when he came face to face with his least favorable drink. She wanted him to glare at the milk with hatred and his usual narrowing eyes. She wanted to see emotion again in his pool of gold.

"… Al?"

Her heart jumped at the sound of his sleepy voice. She and Al turned their attention to the stirring blonde boy.

"_Nii-san_, you're up!" Al greeted with a cheerful tone, "Look, Winry brought you breakfast!" He lifted the tray of food so his brother could see the meal.

Her heart was beating fast with hope as she watched Edward's eyes opened slowly and his gaze fell upon the bottle of milk.

He stared at the white liquid for a long time.

Winry tried with all her might not to clasp her hands together and hope.

Then finally, he gave a reaction, "… oh."

Her face fell. She couldn't even begin to describe the disappointment that overwhelmed her heart.

Winry fisted her hands until it was shaking. Her head bowed down so it hid her clenched eye lids, tears of frustration threatening to fall.

The other two occupants in the room didn't seem to notice her sudden change of mood. Al had set the tray down the floor and try to help his brother to sit up, "You should eat, _nii-san_. You need energy to heal."

Ed just stared at the solid wall in front of him. "I'm not hungry," he replied flatly.

No _'thank you'_s.

No glare.

Not even acknowledging that she was there.

Winry wanted so bad to reach the bottle of milk and cracked it down his blonde head. She wanted to slap him, to shout at him… anything to get her a reaction.

"IDIOT!" she didn't even realized that she had shouted her frustration out loud.

She stormed out the room, leaving the door open.

She didn't hear Al calling her name in concern, she didn't care.

She ran down the hall, through the front door, across their grassy front yard, beyond their wooden fences,until she came face to face with a large birch tree that stood a distance from her home.

She slammed her body to its large trunk and held on for dear life.

They used to meet there, below the shady tree. That way she didn't have to walk all the way to their house, and they didn't have to pick her up from hers. It was their convergence point, the cross-road between the two of their house, their sanctuary.

She let out a choked sob, but did not let her tears fall. She didn't want to cry. She'd cry too much on her own for the last four nights.

Edward's dull eyes crossed her line of vision. Her heart clenched painfully in sorrow.

Gone. He was gone. The spark in his life was gone. Her best friend was slipping away and she didn't know how to prevent it from happening.

She dropped to her knees, still hugging the tree. Her breath ragged as she whimpered her sadness and frustration.

No, she would not cry.

She had to think clearly! She had to be herself! She had to fix things like she always tried to do!

But… how can she fix things if she didn't know what was wrong in the first place? None of the brothers had spoken to her about what had been going on, and she's too afraid to ask.

She felt so helpless.

Winry was always the optimistic one between the three of them, the traits her parents had put so much effort developing into her.

They've always taught her that a doctor should be the one who gave hope to her patients, telling them that everything will be fine in the end. That's why a doctor had to have her own source of hope… an ever flowing spring of hope that no matter how worse the situation was, she would always find a way to make it better.

But Winry could not see what Edward needed to pull himself together. She could not see how everything was going to be alright in the end.

Right then, she really wished her parents were there to help her.

**Oooo TBC oooO**

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A/N: Sorry for the short chapter. I really tired to make it longer, but in the end I stick to the original one. ;p I want to say (so bad) that it was because I'll be facing the National Exam this week, but that will be a lie. :3 Tee hee. I'm a kind of person who seeks more work if there're a lot of things to do that I don't like. ;P 

I caught a flu. Gawd, how I hate it! I kept coughing and sneezing... my body's temperature won't stay put. -Sob-

Thank you for the wonderful reviews! I love you all! I'm so glad that this story was accepted so well. Please tell me more of what you thought of this fic, what you wanted to see, and also your feelings towards the HagaRen characters. I love comments!

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**Oooo DICTIONARY oooO**

Nii-san: short term for Onii-san. Meant 'older brother' in a respected kind of way.

Okaa-san: mom, mother. in respected kind of way.

Gomenasai: Sorry

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**Oooo REPLIES oooO**

Thanks for **Morgri, Tira-kun, Vash, Rakurai, Nyago, Yugata Tenshi, Alchemist Jade, Godzilla, maria, dbgtfan2004, **and **LadyRiona! **

I don't understand why FF.N's New Policy does not allow authors to put reply for the reviews anymore. So, I'm going to upload my answers here. Sorry guys! I hope this new policy isn't permanent. I know I'mnot the only one who do not support this it. But for now, this is the best I can do to say thanks for my wonderful reviewers! Sorry for the inconviniences once again!

All replies will be submitted to my blog;

http / standupandwalkforward. blogs. friendster. com/ standupandwalkforward/

(remove the spaces)

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Thanks for reading! PLZ REVIEW:D 


	3. Decisions

**Impossible!**

**A Fanfiction of Fullmetal Achemist**

**Pairing**: EdxWin, implied RoyxRiza

**Rating**: K (plus) / PG

**Base**: Mostly Manga (books), though I'll probably got some minor stuff mixed up.

**Timeline**: The first time Roy came to Rizenbool. Edward 11. Win 10. Al 10.

**Summary**: Pre-Series! Recovering from an Automail Surgery was not a small thing. With frustrated Edward as the patient and fuming Winry as the therapist, disaster shook the Rockbell household as all fights between them starts. EdxWin!

**Note**: I want to update before I'm going on a ten days class trip to Bali, so here it is! ;D

**Warnings**: I could turn this into a drama format. -.-' Spoiler for part of Chapter 24 in Manga. In Winry's POV.

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**Impossible!**

**Chapter Two**

**Decisions**

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_Rizenbool - June 30th, 1910_

He said his name was Roy, Roy Mustang.

He had barged out of the blue into their house, asking for Ed and Al. When he found them, he roughly lifted Ed up by the collar of his shirt, demanding explanation of what he had done.

Winry didn't think she had been that scared and confused all her life.

They were from the military, she knew. She had seen those uniforms before. Four years ago, to be exact, the same year her parents decided to go to Ishibar. So she wasn't that surprised when he told them that he was a lieutenant colonel and a State Alchemist.

Winry continued standing in the hallway, peeking through the living room door. Inside, the Lieutenant Colonel was talking to both the Elric brothers and her grandmother.

"If you become a State Alchemist," said that Mustang, "You might be able to get information that no ordinary people can get…. You might found something that can help you return you normal bodies back."

"But... I thought alchemists were supposed to help people live a better life," asked Al.

"That is correct," he replied. "That's why we are called the Dogs of the Military."

"Are you sure that these children are qualified enough to pass the National Exam?" that Grandma Pinako who asked the question.

"If what I assumed from what I saw in the Elric's house was right… that they have preformed a human transmutation… and the ability to transmute a soul. Then, there's no doubt."

Winry's eyes widened. Her mind reeled with questions, '_Human transmutation…. Was that what happened? Was that what they had been planning all this time? Since before they went to Dublith?'_

She heard Grandma Pinako raised her voice. Her tone hard and demanding, "That thing… That _thing_ wasn't human at all!"

Winry could feel her heart began thundering in her chest. _'Creating human… was that what they had been doing? All those deep discussion in math classes…'_

"An ability to created such monstrous thing… is that what _alchemy_ is!"

Winry took steps back, away from the door._ 'Why… why would they want to create a human? Who would they…'_

…

_No._

No, they _wouldn't!_

Winry left the hallway in a run and back inside the kitchen. She ran away from the shouting… away from those military people… away from her so-called best friends.

She quickly stepped up a wooden stool, and turn on the taps. Water flowed freely down the metal pipe. She splashed some of the cold liquid onto her face, and then gripped the sink until her knuckles turned white.

It took a while to calm her nerves, but her ragged breathing eventually slowed down, her heart ceased thundering in her chest. She let out a big sigh when her world no longer felt like it was turning upside down.

Slowly, without actually thinking, she rummaged through the lower cupboards, taking two porcelain cups. Then, she boiled some water, and took some tea bags from the box on the kitchen counter. She was going to make some tea.

Edward and Alphonse were in the living room, having a conversation that would change their lives forever, and she was in the kitchen making tea.

What a great friendship, she wanted to snicker.

Winry shook her head. She told herself not to be angry. The brothers had their reasons; she should have known it better than anyone else. If she did not have faith in them, then she was the one who was unworthy of their friendship.

_Believe. That's what she had to do. Believe in them._

She poured the freshly boiled water into a teapot, and put the tea bags in. She waited for the tea to be brewed.

'_What would they do now, when the possibility of regaining their bodies back was right in front of them?'_

Winry knew the answer of her questions already.

Somehow, the military had once again managed to take two of the most important persons in her life. She didn't know whether to laugh or to cry at the irony.

Winry filled the two cups with the brownish liquid, then put the cups down a tray and took them away.

The shouting had ceased, and the hallway was now quiet. Only once in a while she could hear murmured conversation from inside the living room. The door was now closed, and the woman from the military sat on the sofa just next to it.

Winry approached her, "Here you go." She lifted the tray so the woman would know that the tea was for her.

The woman turned to her, and gave a surprise look, "Oh, thank you…"

Winry gave her a small smile before sitting down beside her.

They stayed silent, the woman occasionally sipping her tea.

Winry didn't like the silence. When she was in a really bad mood, silence usually made negative thoughts appear in her mind. She didn't want negative thoughts about her best friends! She preferred a conversation with someone from the military, her sworn enemy, than to thinking badly of her friends.

"Miss Second Lieutenant…" her voice sounded desperate, even to her own ears.

The woman turned to her and gave a polite smile, "Ah, just call me Riza, Riza Hawkeye." She lifted her hand to Winry, "Nice to meet you."

Winry could not bring herself to return the friendly gesture, "Ms. Riza" she gulped,

_What to say?_

"Have you ever shot a person?" she blurted out without actually thinking.

Riza looked rather surprised. She took back her outstretched hand; a sad smile appeared on her face. "Yes, I have," she replied, "I've shot many of them, actually."

From her voice, Winry could tell that she had just asked about a painful subject. She bowed her head in shame. Ms. Riza must have been ordered to do it. Every person in the military was vowed to do exactly what they were ordered to do. And so would Edward, if he really did join the military.

"I don't like the military." There, she finally said it. "They took my mom and dad to the battlefield and they were killed there," her voice quivered, "And now… that Mustang is trying to take Ed and Al away…"

She was shaking. She didn't want to, but she was. "I don't want them to become part of the military."

'_I don't want them to leave and never come back."_

Winry gulped again, "Please… please don't take them away."

Riza looked at her with understanding in her eyes.

Winry lowered her head, hiding her eyes behind her bangs.

"…The military isn't going to take them away," Riza spoke after a while, "It will be their own decision whether they come or not."

Winry kept silent. Actually, she had known that the military would not take the boys by force. They had never force her parents to go to the battlefield; it had been their own decision to go to Ishibar and helped the wounded. But… she could not help but think that if the military hadn't come in the first place, they would not have been killed.

Riza sipped on her tea again, "To tell you the truth, I am not fond of the military either… they sometimes order me to take lives."

Winry turned her eyes to the older woman, "Then why did you join?"

Riza put her cup down on the plate; a determined look crossed her eyes. "Because there is someone I need to protect."

Riza studied the palm of her hands, "I am never forced to do anything. I pulled the trigger by my own decision…. I do it for the person I want to protect." She clenched her knuckles, "And until the day that person reaches his goal, I will continue to pull the trigger without doubts."

Winry stared at her. _Never forced… until the day that person reaches his goal… without doubt…._

Riza gave her a pained smile, "... because that's the only thing I can do for him, you know. I want to help him with all I have, and this is all I can do."

Her words struck home. Winry snapped her gaze to meet Riza's.

_Until that person reaches his goal… we have to help him with all our might._

Understanding overwhelmed her.

Riza seemed to know what had been going on inside her head, and gave her a nod. "If those boys have strong wills, they would decide for themselves whether to go down that road or not."

Winry closed her eyes and sighed. They would. They were the strongest minded person she had ever met.

"Then, they will continue to walk forward even if the path is muddy and slippery."

Winry nodded in understanding… or in agreement, she didn't really think about it.

Suddenly it didn't matter anymore whether Ed and Al would decide to join the military or not. She had made her decision - whatever the boys need to do to reach their goal, she would be supporting them with all her might.

She lifted her face, and gave Riza a genuine smile, "I understand. Thank you, Ms. Riza."

Riza sighed then returned her smile, "You're welcome."

They continued to sit there in silence, sipping their tea, waiting for decisions to be made in the living room.

A while later, the door finally opened. Both Winry and Riza stood up.

Lt. Colonel Mustang stepped out of the room. He gave Riza a nod, "Let's go."

"Yes, sir!" Riza answered. She turned to Winry, "Ah, good bye, miss…."

Winry lifted her hand, "I'm Winry."

The older woman looked pleasantly surprised, "Ah, Winry." She took her offered hand, "I hope we'll meet again someday."

Winry watched Riza and the Lieutenant Colonel left her house, thinking about the power that the military seemed to have in changing various aspects of her life.

She snuck a look over her shoulder to see Edward that was still sitting in his wheelchair. His head was up, his face no longer full of guilt, his eyes no longer a dull of gold.

Winry let out a small smile. Maybe had changed not just _her_ life.

Suddenly Edward did something that surprised everyone in the living room; he spoke, "Grandma Pinako,"

Recovering form her surprise, Winry felt like jumping up and down in joy. He spoke! He _spoke_!

"What is it, runt?"

"There's some money left by mother in the house," he said in determined tone, "Please give me automail."

Winry turned on her heels and stared at the blonde boy in shock. After all that emotion stress, she though nothing could surprise her again for the rest of the day. She couldn't have been more wrong.

Grandma Pinako frowned, "Edward, do you realize what you've just asked me?"

"Yes, I've decided," Ed answered.

"Then you're prepared to take the pain?"

"I don't care about the pain."

"Edward, this is a serious matter. I think you should have given yourself more time to think this through."

"Grandma," his firm tone was back, "I'm going, and to do that, I need a full set of arms and legs."

"Edward…" Pinako seemed like she still had something to say, but in the end she yielded, "I understand. Give me one week to prepare the surgery."

"Thank you," he replied.

Pinako nodded and left the living room, passing her granddaughter with only a slight glance.

Winry felt nauseous. The world was spinning too fast for her liking.

_Automail surgery - a pain that even a full-grown adult would rather not bare to take. Edward was going to have an automail surgery._

Winry shook her head as if it would chase away her fears. She willed her heart to be strong. '_Be supportive,'_ she reminded herself.

If automail would help Edward reach his goal, then she would be the best automail mechanic in the world. That decided, Winry gave her self a nod.

But before that... First things first,

She entered the living room and approached the boys. She saw Edward's eyes move and focus on her. Her heart warmed incredibly.

She let a smile grew on her face, "Ed?"

His eyes met hers for the first time in a week. "Yeah?" he replied.

"I think you owe me an explanation."

**Oooo TBC oooO**

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A/N: Yay! I've been dying to write that ending part for a while:3 

Anyway, my beta Lady Riona told me that the Elrics call Pinako with 'Aunty'. But I think I'll stick to 'Grandma', since that was what they call her in the Indonesian translated Manga I have. ;p

I won't be able to update for a while. I'm going on a trip to Bali tomorrow, I'll be there for about ten days or so. But look at the bright side, at least this chapter is _long_! ;p

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**Oooo DICTIONARY oooO**

None! O.o woa, that's a first!

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**Oooo REPLIES oooO**

Thanks for **Morgri, Vash, kwala, Tora-chan, Nyago, MelodicCascade**,** LadyRiona **and others!

I don't understand why FF.N's New Policy does not allow authors to put reply for the reviews anymore. So, I'm going to upload my answers here. Sorry guys! I hope this new policy isn't permanent. I know I'mnot the only one who do not support this it. But for now, this is the best I can do to say thanks for my wonderful reviewers! Sorry for the inconviniences once again!

All replies will be submitted to my blog;

http / standupandwalkforward. blogs. friendster. com/ standupandwalkforward/

(remove the spaces)

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**PLZ REVIEW! I love comments:)**


	4. Spark

**Impossible!**

FullMetal Alchemist Fanfiction

**Pairing**: EdxWin

**Rating**: K (plus) / PG

**Base**: Mostly Manga (books), though I'll probably got some minor stuff mixed up.

**Timeline**: 2 days before the Automail Surgery. Edward 11. Win 10. Al 10.

**Summary**: Pre-Series! Recovering from an Automail Surgery was not a small thing. With frustrated Edward as the patient and fuming Winry as the therapist, disaster shook the Rockbell household as all fights between them starts. EdxWin!

**Note**: Sorry for the long wait, I feel so guilty! Some chain of events had came up I haven't been able to update for a while! But I'm not abandoning this story! Please keep up with me, I'll try to update more frequently since I'm in a holiday.

**Warnings**: Uhm…moody Winry? She's not really herself. Nothing too extreme, slight angst I guess.

* * *

**Impossible **

**Chapter Three**

**Spark **

_

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Rizenbool, __July 2nd 1910_

Protein 3.3 percent, lactose 4.8 percent, fat 3.8 percent, minerals 0.71 percent, and many other additional emulsions – the basic composition of cow milk. The ideal blend of liquid food to help human recover from sickness and injuries.

Winry sighed.

Milk is healthy, everybody knows that.

It was just a shame one particular blonde boy sitting at the diner in front of Winry didn't seem to think so

Edward glared at a glass of milk in front of him with hatred.

Winry bounced a wooden spatula from one hand to another in a threatening manner. "Drink it!" she ordered sternly.

"No," he replied evenly, but eyed the spatula in alarm.

"Drink it. It's good for your health."

"No!"

"Ed! You're still weak! Milk will help you to recover better!"

"I'll recover just fine without milk!"

Winry felt her blood heat. She really wanted to throw the spatula at the boy's blonde head, but she decided to give him one more chance. "If you want to have that automail surgery the day after tomorrow, you have to build your immune system!"

His eyes snapped to hers and he frowned, "What's the matter with you! You never complained if I didn't drink my milk before!"

Winry froze, but she managed to recover quickly. "Y-you were healthy back then! Right now you're injured, and automail surgery is painful! You have to get your immune system back as soon as possible if you want the surgery to go well!"

"The surgery will still be painful, milk or no milk!" he replied stubbornly.

Winry stomped her foot in frustration, "Why don't you just drink it! It's not like you'll die from it!"

He drummed his only hand to the table impatiently, glaring at her, "I don't drink milk, Winry I can't believe that you would forget it."

Winry glared back. "I did not forget! I just want…," she trailed off, eyes downcast.

_What did she want? _

Her voice wavered. "I just want you to be well again…."

Edward's eyes widened in shock, but she didn't know that.

They went into an awkward silence. It was weird and new. They used to talk and laugh about their previous adventures or pranks. Despite some little heated arguments every now and then; they had never had a tense and pregnant silence before.

Winry could hear the clanging sound of Alphonse's footsteps as he moved along the hallway. He was helping clean the house since Grandma Pinako had left for Rush Valley the day before.

"Just… drink it. Please," she finally said.

Edward looked away as if he didn't want to face her. "No."

She was angry again. "Drink it, Edward!" she shouted his full name. She only used his full name when she was really angry, and he knew that.

"No!" he snapped and slammed his hands to the wooden table. His eyes returned to hers, "You're acting weird, Winry! I'm not listening to a friend that I don't know anymore!"

Winry slammed both of her hands down the table. She couldn't say anything for a while. Her eyes were burning, and her breath shortened; she felt suffocated. She glared back at him. "You…" she growled through her gritted teeth, "You have no right to say that!"

She pointed at Edward in an accusing manner, "Who was the one who kept secrets from me? Who was the one who could not accept reality and move on!"

Edward's eyes widened again, like he was afraid of her.

She continued shouting, "Who was the one the one that could not get over his guilt when his transmutation failed? Who was the one who lost his mind and makes me so scared and worried!"

Ed opened his mouth as if to say something but in the end he only gaped like a fish.

Winry was so angry that she didn't care what she was saying anymore, "It's you, Edward! You did this! You! You! You!"

Her hands fell to her sides; she clenched them tightly. "You have no faith in me, Ed. I'm not trying to kill you, I only want to help…"

"Winry…"

"Shut up," she retorted. She spun on her heel ran away from the kitchen. She knocked into Alphonse who stood by the door on her way out. It seemed that he had heard the slamming and came to see what had been going on.

But once again, she didn't care.

Winry went down the hall, through some sets of doors, and came face to face with a dark wooden door. She turned the knob and opened it.

A bedroom – her parent's bedroom.

Some people might have cleaned the room of their deceased loved ones a little while after the funeral, and then they would move on. Grandma Pinako tried to, but Winry begged and cried that her grandma would not do it. In the end, Grandma Pinako had given up on the condition that Winry had to clean the room herself when she was ready.

Winry had tried several times, but every time she would end up lying on the bed, smelling its old scent of sandalwood and faint dust, trying to catch the scent of her parents. Sometimes she could smell them, but most times she could not. It may have only been her imagination, but she'd accepted what she could get.

This time, she had not come to clean the room. She went straight to the bed and threw herself on it. She sighed loudly.

She regretted snapping at Edward already. Now everything between them would be more awkward. How could she be supportive if they barely talked to each other?

Winry flipped her body so she faced the ceiling.

She had said that he had no right to say that he no longer knew her, that he had no faith in her. But on the other hand, she didn't have the right to tell him to move on.

Moving on is hard. She was experiencing it first hand.

Growing up hurt really bad, and now she went through it everyday.

But…

The world would not wait for her. The world would not stop and see if she could keep up with its pace or not, or if she had fallen and hurt her knees.

_What would you do if you know that someone would not wait for you? _

Winry knew what to do.

Slowly, she sat up and slid away from the bed. She walked to a wooden cupboard and opened it. Her parent's clothes.

She eyed the wooden box that stood near the cupboard.

With shaking hands, she reached for one of pieces of clothing that were hanging inside the cupboard. It was her father's trousers. She discarded the hanger, folded the clothes, and then put it at the very bottom of the wooden box.

That was how Alphonse found her, almost done cleaning her parent's wardrobe.

"Winry…" he said her name rather hesitantly.

She turned to him and smiled, "I'm going to apologize to Ed."

Even if she could not see expression in his metal face, she knew that she had surprised him. "Ah…" was his response.

"He is still in the kitchen, right?" she asked.

"Uh, Yea…"

Winry nodded then left the room, but suddenly she stopped and looked at Al over her shoulder. He was still looking inside the room.

She smiled, "Al? After I apologize to Ed, would you help me clean my parent's bedroom?"

His gaze snapped back to meet hers, "Oh… yeah. Sure, Winry."

"Thanks."

Winry went back in the kitchen. Ed was still sitting by the dining table, his back to hers. She could not see his left hand; it looked like it was set on the table in front of him.

"Ed?"

He half turned to her, looking surprised that she was talking to him sooner than he expected.

She gave him an apologetic smile, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have blamed you for what I felt. It's not your fault."

He turned away again. "No, Winry…. You're right," he said, "Everything is my fault. I shouldn't have kept anything from you in the first place. You're a good friend and you have the right to know. Maybe then you would have stopped me from making that sin."

Winry shook her head even if he could not see her. She laughed tiredly, "Ed, you're afraid that I would make you change your mind, and you know well that you didn't want to be stopped."

"I'm sorry," was his reply.

She walked to him. "I'm sorry, too." She stood on his left side and offered her _left_ little finger, "Promise we'll start trusting each other?"

He looked back and forth between her hand and her face in caution; like he was afraid she would burst. She put on an encouraging smile.

"I trust you," Ed said.

"I mean, more than this,"

He sighed, "Okay, I promise."

He did not hook his little finger to hers, but he took her wrist and gave her hand a reassuring grasp.

Winry felt something right then, when his hand gripped hers firmly, and his golden eyes stared deep into hers. Something fluttered in her stomach and her heartbeat quickened. She quickly pulled her hand away. She never realized that Edward had pulled his hand away as eagerly as she. A faint tint of red appeared on both of their cheeks.

Her eyes wandered, searching for anything other than his magnetic gaze. She found an empty glass of milk on the table in front of him.

Her eyebrows lifted, "Ed, where did the milk go?"

"What?"

"The milk, where did it go?" she turned to face him.

"Uh…" was his only response.

She then saw something that made her smile and her heart warm. She shook her head with a sigh and took the glass to the sink. "It's okay. You don't have to answer," a smile grew on her face.

He said nothing, but she kept smiling.

Edward could be so sweet and cute sometimes; too bad he only did it when nobody was around to see. But that did not mean that someone could not find out what he had done. If you looked hard enough, he usually left small pieces of evidences unintentionally.

Like at that moment, for example.

Edward had a faint ring of white liquid around his lips.

Guess what he had done.

**Ooo TBC ooO **

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A/N: Yeah, the milk thing again. Hehehe. I can't help it, I love the scenario… Put a little romance up there, please tell me what you think. Is it okay? Do you need more? Or I better keep them out in the future? Fluffy romance isn't really my thing, so I need to know how I was doing. If most of you didn't like it, I'll try not to put them in further chapter. 

**Ooo DICTIONARY ooO **

None again.. Woa, must be a record!

**

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**

Oooo REPLIES oooO

Thanks for **Lady Riona, EdxWinry, Godzilla, Vash, Kitty2211,Kwala, Mistress Shadow, Yugata Tenshi, Dragon Blonde,** and **Nyago!**

I don't understand why FF.N's New Policy does not allow authors to put reply for the reviews anymore. So, I'm going to upload my answers here. Sorry guys! I hope this new policy isn't permanent. I know I'mnot the only one who do not support this it. But for now, this is the best I can do to say thanks for my wonderful reviewers! Sorry for the inconviniences once again!

All replies will be submitted to my blog;

http / standupandwalkforward. blogs. friendster. com/ standupandwalkforward/

(remove the spaces)

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Well, I hope you all enjoy the chapter! Please REVIEW! I love comments! 


	5. A Guide to Automail

**Impossible!**

**A Fanfiction of Fullmetal Achemist**

Pairing: EdxWin

Rating: K (plus) / PG

Base: Mostly Manga (books), though I'll probably got some minor stuff mixed up.

Timeline: Before the automail surgery. Edward 11. Win 10. Al 10.

Summary: Pre-Series! Recovering from an Automail Surgery was not a small thing. With frustrated Edward as the patient and fuming Winry as the therapist, disaster shook the Rockbell household as all fights between them starts. EdxWin!

Note: Still out of town... hehehe. The internet is sooo slow!

Warnings: Slight Spoiler for part of Chapter 24 in Manga. My opinion in automail Surgery, so you purist, shoo!

* * *

**Impossible!**

**Chapter Four**

**A Guide to Automail**

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_Rizenbool, July 4th 1910 _

Today was the day. Today was the automail surgery.

Winry sighed. She still couldn't believe that the day had finally come. Everything in her life recently seemed like a fleeting nightmare, not a single day had passed without some kind of upsetting event.

That morning, Grandma Pinako was busy in the workroom doing some last minute preparation. Al was restless, he kept sitting down and getting up and walking around the house without actually doing anything. He was giving away his nervousness.

Not able to stand watching Al much longer, Winry decided to go to the library. How surprised she was when she found Ed in there.

"Ed?"

The blonde boy lifted his head from the book he was reading, "Hn?"

A doubt filled her heart, she had meant to ask him what he was doing, but suddenly it seemed stupid. "Uh… nothing, you just surprised me. I didn't expect to find you here."

"… Al told me you rearrange this room, I just came to take a look," he replied, "You did a great job, I couldn't recognized this room anymore until I saw that bookshelf. That was _oji-san_'s right?" Ed gestured to a bookshelf that stood across the room, covering almost the entire wall.

"Yea, that was my father's," Winry looked at the bookshelf. Her heart still clenched when she thought of her parents. She cleared her throat and turned back to the blonde boy, "I can't move it and the books are too fragile…."

"Sorry I wasn't able to help," he apologized.

"It's okay, I should have done it myself anyway…"

He didn't reply.

Somehow she had gotten used to him not replying at some of her remarks. After recovering from his state of depression, Ed was quieter preserved, and seemed to be full of thoughts.

Winry didn't blame him. He probably had much to think about.

"What are you reading?" she approached him.

Ed lifted the book and showed her the title.

Winry had to lift her eyebrows at that, "_'A Guide to Automail'_?"

He replied with a shrug.

_Of course!_ Winry scolded herself. The only books in the room were either medical books or automail references. But she had always pictured Edward with alchemy books; automail was more of her territory.

A sudden realization hit her, her eyes widened. "Ed…"

He resumed his reading, "Yeah?"

"… Are you afraid? About the surgery?"

"… No."

Winry could not bring herself to believe that. Ed was not looking at her, she still recognized that behavior. He was uncertain of something, or he was lying. "Really?" she was careful not to sound accusing.

Closing the book, he turned his eyes to hers, "… I don't know. Kinda… maybe."

"… We could always postpone the surgery…"

"No!" Ed replied abruptly. He made a motion like he was trying to stand up, but having only one leg, he only managed to disturb the balance of his wheelchair.

"Ed!" Winry quickly steadied the wheelchair, putting a stop to his fall. Her strength surprised even her; Ed was not actually light though she was taller than him, and the wheelchair was made of iron.

Both of them did not say anything for a while trying to recover from the shock.

Winry clutched the armrest tighter in her hands. "Dammit, Ed! You shouldn't do things like that!"

"You're the one who made that ridiculous comment about postponing the surgery!" he retorted.

"It's not ridiculous! I only said that you can postpone the surgery if you're not ready!"

"Who said I'm not ready!"

"You're afraid!"

"That doesn't mean I'm not ready!"

They gasped for breath, glaring ateach other.

Winry willed herself to calm down, "Why do you insist so much? What if your body could not take it?"

"Grandma said it was fine," he replied stubbornly.

"Do you really know what you will be going through? What if there was a rejection? Shouldn't you wait until you're more healthy?"

He pinned her with a determined look, "We can't live with what ifs, Winry."

"I know that."

"Good."

They glared at each other again. The action was a reminder of their past selves, but for once Winry didn't like it. Anytime soon, Grandma would come and call them for the surgery. She didn't want Ed went to the surgery in that sort of mood.

She averted her gaze and forced her voice to be cheerful, "Did you find anything helpful?"

He was clearly shocked at her sudden change of mood. "What?" he asked, slightly disoriented.

She pointed to the book he was still holding.

"Oh," he looked at the book, "Dunno, I'm not actually reading it, y'know…."

She pulled another chair near and sat down. She took the book from him, and flipped through some pages until she found the chapter about automail docks. She showed the opened page to him, and pointed a picture. "See this? We call it _the docks_. This is the part that will connect the automail to your flesh."

His eyes studied the picture, "That's… huge."

"It varies from person to person, silly," she felt a smile tugging the corner of her lips, "Grandma prepared a much smaller one for you."

Ed sighed in relief, "Oh, good. I don't think I will be able to move if I had that thing on my shoulder."

Winry nodded, and flipped a page. There was a picture of a dock that connect with a human shoulder. "This is the shoulder dock, the one you will be getting." She flipped again, "If you open the outer case, you will see wirings. These wires will connect directly to your nerves."

"You mean you implant them?"

She nodded again, "Yup. Actually, that's what we are going to do at the surgery today."

Winry saw the blonde boy wince. "Don't worry, you won't feel a thing."

He lifted his eyebrow, "But I thought the surgery was painful?"

"A common misconception," She shook her head. "The surgery itself is not painful since you'll be deeply sedated. Implanting wire connectors is a dangerous and complicated task, y'know; we can not afford the patient to thrash around and scream in pain."

She stopped for a while, debating on something, but finally decided to continue. "The pain will come later, when we connect the wires to the nerve stimulator."

"Nerve stimulator?" his expression told her that he did not like the phrase.

She nodded, "We have to make sure that all the wires connect to the right nerves. And even then, there is still a chance that your nerves would not respond to the wire networks."

"A rejection?"

"Kind of… rejection is much more painful, but I think we shouldn't talk about it right now."

They continued discussing about the things that would be done in the surgery. She was oddly enjoying it. Somehow she felt like they were discussing some school project rather than a dangerous surgery.

"We estimated that we can attach the docks on the third week, that is if you gave no rejection to the wirings," she informed.

"What!" he exclaimed, startled. "How long is this actually gonna take?"

She gave him a frown, "What? You think automail is like an instant noodle? These things take time, Ed, lots of time - and it's not going to be pleasant either."

He sank to his seat, "And here I thought it would all be over with one surgery…"

She laugh tiredly, "If it was that simple, then everyone would be getting automail."

Ed only grunted in agreement or acknowledgment, Winry couldn't decide on which.

"Do you want me to explain it to you, in a quick summary?" She patted the book on her lap, "It's always to know what you're going to go through." The end of her sentence was a lie, but Ed didn't seemed to notice.

She had wanted to tell him that he might not be able to think about anything except pain for at least a couple of weeks, but decided against it.

He sighed, "Sure, I have some time to kill." Then he eyed her suspiciously, "You're scarily enjoying this…."

She grinned in return, "Well, it's not everyday I tutor the mister-know-it-all…."

He snorted, "I'm not a mister-know-it-all, I'm just a genius."

She rolled her blue eyes, a clear sign that she would rather die first before admitting what he said was true. "Typical. I should have known you'd say that."

He smirked and they stared at each other before laughing.

This mood was much better. Almost like they were back to those pleasant days under the birch tree - the teasing, the jokes, the pranks.

He calmed down much quicker than she. "Thanks, Winry," he said suddenly.

She stopped laughing and blinked at him, "What are you thanking me for?"

He grinned, "Just thanks."

"You're acting weird, Ed."

"Are you going to enlighten me or what?"

She blew her cheeks in a pout but flipped the book on her lap until she hit the introduction. "Here," she showed the page to him, "There are four steps of automail installation; wire implanting, docking, recovery, and rehabilitation. Grandma taught me five; wire implanting, nerve stimulating, docking, recovery, and rehabilitation; but they are roughly the same. You follow me so far?"

Seeing that the boy nodded. She dragged her fingers across the texts in the page, pointing to a flowchart.

"Wiring surgery was the first thing you will be going trough; that is today. I've told you before, you'll be deeply sedated and the next thing you know will be wires poking out from your shoulder and leg."

She stopped and looked at the blonde boy, but he had his full attention on the book. She had to smile, that was the Ed she knew, being able to give unwavering concentration once he had sat his mind into something.

"The nerve stimulating is next," she continued her lecture, glad that she was finally teaching Ed about something, not the other way around. "You won't like this, I should warn you. Actually, this is when you will feel the famous pain people talked about. The wire that had been implanted to you will be connected to a nerve stimulator. This machine will send electric jolts to your nervous system. This is a kind of treatment… to make sure that your nerves are able to work together with the artificial limbs. This treatment will go on for about one or two weeks, depending on your responses.

"After that is the docking surgery… you know, implanting the dock to your flesh. You will be sedated in this surgery, too. Then there is the recovery, when you will regain your health and strength before we actually connect the limbs to you."

"Wait-wait!" Ed interrupted, "You mean I won't be getting an arm and leg soon?"

Winry shook her head, "Not until we remove the stitches and you stop feeling pain."

"How long is the recovery and rehabilitation gonna take?"

Winry gave the question a thought, "Dunno, the books never actually tell when is the time to do this or that, or how long the processes actually are." She looked at him and continued, "It varies from person to person, I guess. You should ask Grandma, she might be able to give you a rough estimation."

He sank down his seat, not actually looking forward for the surgery anymore knowing it would be a while before he was able to move around freely again.

Winry gave him a pained smile, "Ed, this is a long, painful, and frustrating process. You have to keep your spirit up…"

"I know…" He tilted his head back so it would rest on the edge of his wheelchair, and he stared at the ceiling unfocusedly. He was thinking again. He had really expected that he would be moving again sometime soon, and joined the military by the end of the season. Now he had to make some adjustments in his plan.

She debated whether to say something or not. Hesitantly, she finally said, "Just… just know that I will always support you no matter what, okay?"

He glanced at her, "I know… thanks, Winry. I'll pay you back someday."

She smiled, that was just like Ed - equivalent exchange. Deciding that she should pick up the mood, "Well, _someday_, you'll be a very poor. The treatment isn't actually cheap, y'know!"

His eyes widened in disbelief.

She didn't blame him, she had never cared much about money before. Well… if Ed really did join the military, his income would be a bit different. "Once you've become a state alchemist, you will have endless money supply… I heard that Mustang guy last week." She smirked evilly, "I'm not going to let slip a chance to draw some cash out of you!"

Ed only gaped at her like a gold fish, wondering what his best friend had turned into.

Winry clasped her hands together, a dreamy looked appeared in her eyes, "Just think about how many new wrenches I will be able to buy with that money! Ah… I want to buy the newest automail design books! And that new spare part model I saw on the newspaper last month, too!"

She sneaked a glance at Ed; he was still in shock. She kept grinning.

_Yes, the military's money. Ah… revenge is so sweet. _

It was around noon when Grandma Pinako knocked the library's door, "Edward? The preparation is complete. We're ready when you are."

Winry saw as his eyes searched to meet hers, and gave a reassuring smile.

Ed turned back to Pinako, "I'm ready, _'baa-san_."

Al appeared and then the four of them made their way to the surgery room.

Once inside, Grandma Pinako quickly filled a syringe with sedative. She turned to Ed, "For the last time, Edward. You're not gonna regret this?"

Ed lifted his head, "No, I've decided."

Grandma Pinako approached him and lifted the syringe so he could see it. She looked at the blonde boy and again sighed, "No turning back? I trust Winry explained what you will be going through."

"Just do it, _'baaba_," he replied, slightly annoyed. "How long will the recovery and the rehabilitation take?"

Grandma Pinako injected the syringe to his right shoulder, "It'll probably take three years until you can move properly again."

Ed shook his head. "One year," he replied determinedly, as if he was making a promise.

Winry stared at him wide eyed.

She didn't know what to say. Ed must have lost his mind. Completed recovery and rehabilitation in a year? How could you hurry your body to recover? Or how could anyone guarantee that the surgery would go well and there won't be any rejection from his body? Grandma was right, he could be coughing up blood.

Questions kept running around in Winry's mind, so she shook her head to scatter them. She was afraid that she would say something discouraging. She decided that whether or not Ed would recover within a year it was a problem that should be solved after the surgery.

_Right, focus on the surgery first. _

She watched as Ed turned his head to Al, who was standing at the other side of the bed, "Al, please wait a little longer. I'll surely return you to your normal body."

Al nodded, "Yes. And when the time comes, you will also have your body back, _nii-san_."

Ed smiled.

It was that smile again. The smile he had just recently developed. The Edward she knew never smiled. He grinned mischievously, or arrogantly, but he never smiled.

This new smile held no happiness. Pain would fill his golden eyes, and he would bite the inside of his cheek as if it would help him appeared tough. Suddenly he looked like he had the whole world on his shouldersm, but he showed no sign of giving up. Instead, strong determination would fill his gaze.

At that time, Winry simply admire him for his determination. For an eleven-year-old boy, Edward Elric was very determined and strong-willed. She really had thought that he had matured.

Years later, she would realize that that determination was not something that he gained as simply she might have thought. Edward needed that determination to keep moving forward; because with determination came the strength to do what was necessary, and along with it came hope. And with hope, came the will to continue moving forward.

But as a ten-year-old girl, Winry only wanted to be his hope; knowing what he was just about to enter was probably the hardest, and most despairing chapter in his life.

After all, the past couple of days were only just the beginning, and the hardest part had yet to come

**Oooo TBC oooO**

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**DICTIONARY:**

(o)ji-san: uncle

(o)baa-san: grand mother

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Oooo REPLIES oooO

Thanks for **Black Comet, Lily Avalon, LadyRiona, Galance, Morgri, urbanfae, supermelisa3149, EdxWinry, Nyago, **and **Yugata Tenshi!**

I don't understand why FF.N's New Policy does not allow authors to put reply for the reviews anymore. So, I'm going to upload my answers here. Sorry guys! I hope this new policy isn't permanent. I know I'mnot the only one who do not support this it. But for now, this is the best I can do to say thanks for my wonderful reviewers! Sorry for the inconviniences once again!

All replies will be submitted to my blog;

http / standupandwalkforward. blogs. friendster. com/ standupandwalkforward/

(remove the spaces)

Thank you soooo much for reviewing! I'll try to update more frequently!

* * *

Thanks to Lady Riona, my beta! You were right, I was in a hurry!

* * *

A/N: Lots of busy things came up in my and my beta's life suddenly... so the next couple of update will be late. I'm not going to beginto describeall of them here,because it's a many unimportant things but we can not ditch, such as family, friends, and others. So once again, sorry! We'redoing the best we can for this story! 


	6. The Path of Repentance

**Impossible! **

**A Fanfiction of Fullmetal Achemist**

Pairing: EdxWin

Rating: K (plus) / PG

Base: Mostly Manga (books), though I'll probably got some minor stuff mixed up.

Timeline: A week after the first surgery. Edward 11. Win 10. Al 10.

Summary: Pre-Series! Recovering from an Automail Surgery was not a small thing. With frustrated Edward as the patient and fuming Winry as the therapist, disaster shook the Rockbell household as all fights between them starts. EdxWin!

Note: Sorry! Late update! But the next should be up around next week! My original plan was to have them together in one chapter, but I figured that I can saperate them since there was nothing really connecting the two part. Don't worry! I've written it down, it just need some more polishing.

Warnings: Angst… again. I wonder if I should change this fic's secondary genre…

* * *

**Impossible!**

**Chapter Five**

**The Path of Repentance**

_

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Rizenbool, __July 10th 1910_

Winry stared at the door, thinking about the message Grandma Pinako had just asked her to give to Ed. She was worried … or scared, or maybe both, she couldn't decide on which. She did not think that Ed was ready.

After a full week of feeling nauseous (side-effect of the sedative), he had only begun to eat solid foods a few days ago; they should have given his body more time to regain its strength before they took the next step… well, at least in her opinion. Her Grandma said he was fine, because Ed had not complained one bit and appeared healthy.

She had a distant feeling that he was faking his health. He had not complained about the inconveniences from the various colored wires that were now sticking out from both his right shoulder and left thigh; even though Winry had deliberately put him in the most uncomfortable position. How could she not think that he was not genuinely healthy and okay?

Winry entered the surgery room, bringing a tray of breakfast, and saw the two Elric brothers engaged in a light conversation. She smiled, "Hi, guys!"

Both boys looked at her, Al stood up from his seat near the hospital bed. "Hi, Winry!" he greet her back.

Ed did not say anything, his eyes searched the breakfast tray in alarm. Only seconds later, he groaned, "Winryyy…."

Winry turned to the older Elric and smiled. "What?" she asked innocently as she approached the bed.

Ed only glared back to her, annoyed.

Winry laid the tray on his lap. It was a chiffon cake this morning, along with the usual tall glass of milk. Yes, milk; and a fresh one, mind you. Despite the all too often response she couldn't help but smirk mischievously. "Thought I was going to give up, did you?" she asked, grinning.

Ed reached for the cake and began munching. "No. But… a tall glass! You know I can barely swallow one gulp!"

She shrugged.

Al had pulled another chair and now the three of them sat in the sun-lit surgery room, watching the blonde boy eat. Winry began to talk to Al about the cat he had kept in the warehouse secretly for the last week.

Ed finished his cake, and turned to wage a glaring war with the milk. The white liquid only stared back at him innocently, glimmering slightly in the sunlight.

Winry grinned as she stole a glance at Ed. She didn't know why she enjoyed teasing and picking on him these days. She should have been more sympathetic, or something… she didn't really understand.

After quite a while, Ed finally swiped the glass of milk and took one gulp. He quickly slammed it back to the tray and made faces, "_Pleh_!"

Winry beamed, "See? That wasn't so bad, was it? I told you you'd get used to it!"

Ed only managed to give her a dry look for he was busy sticking out his tongue and making puking noises.

"Good boy," she replied, standing up and patted the top of his head.

Ed swatted her hand and glared, "Oy! Don't do that!"

Winry held back a laugh and took away the tray.

Al sighed at the antics of his two best friends.

A few steps from the door Winry stopped, "Oh right." She looked over her shoulder, "Grandma said that you're ready for nerve stimulating. She wanted you to decide when you're ready to do it."

Ed turned to Al and gave his younger brother a long look. "I'm ready now," he replied seriously, turning back to her.

Despite that she had been expecting a similar answer, Winry still felt the familiar chill crept up her heart. She tried not to show it and slowly shook her head, "Not after you ate, Ed. We much prefer to have your stomach empty."

"Why?" both Ed and Al said simultaneously. The two brothers looked at each other and Ed grinned. Though Winry couldn't see Al's expression, she knew that he was also grinning.

She felt a smile grow on her face. The Elric brothers, strangely for siblings that were not twins, were proud if they had small coincidences like that.

Winry cleared her throat, "We'll do it tomorrow, I'll tell grandma." She turned away and hurried out.

… and thus she had avoided another hard question.

Winry sighed and leaned back against the closed wooden door. She tilted her head and watched the ceiling.

She had avoided lots of questions from both of the Elrics these ten days. It was hard, not knowing what to do. She still had not decided if she should tell Ed everything or just keep some discouraging details secret.

She didn't want to lie to him. Every time she kept things for herself, her heart screamed to do otherwise.

She hated being so indecisive. She wished she had confidence like Ed. He was so sure of himself; making hard decisions without hesitation… his decision to have automail, to enter the military, to not turn back. Was he not afraid of regrets?

She knew he was in regret for what he had done; it was quite unbelievable that he still had the courage to make decisions after the last one turned so dreadful.

Shaking her head, Winry absently studied the wood-pattern on her ceiling.

Maybe…maybe that's why he had shut everyone off before. Maybe that's why he had turnedhis back from the world.

He must have been very afraid… so afraid to return back to the world where he must face the consequences of his sin, to the world where there were more hard decisions to make.

Her eyes burned, '_Oh, Ed….'_

But he came back.

He had found a tiny light of hope and grasped it strongly. He came back with his head high, and so determined to make things right again.

That was so… admirable of him; his courage to face his sin. And so stupid of him, to try to take everything to himself… every guilt, every pain, every hard decision… he did not even leave a room for Al to argue.

He insisted to have so much on his shoulder… was he in pain?

It hurt her, that even now when he had picked himself up, she could do nothing to help him. She couldn't even tell him that forcing himself that much was a wrong thing to do; she was too afraid that he would slip into another state of depression.

Winry's eyes trailed to the barely-drunk tall glass of milk.

Instead… she wanted to be strong for him. She wanted to help him carry the burden he had put on himself. She would make sure that he could continue walking down that muddy path he had decided to take.

Shakily, she put the tray on top of a nearby side table and took the glass into her hands.

_'This is for Ed,'_

She finished the rest of Edward's milk in one big gulp.

**OoooTBCoooO**

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A/N: Well, after a lot of consideration, I finally decided to split this chapter into two. You know, slow things down a little. Yes, I have the next chapter written down, it just need some more polishing. I promise the next chap is longer, since it will be the Nerves Treatment! Hehehe. 

I love the title of this chapter! Don't you think? I took it from one of my favorites instrumental arrangement, do any of you know where it came from?

* * *

**Ooo DICTIONARY ooO **

None. Oo

* * *

**Oooo REPLIES oooO**

Thanks for** Rin-D, Lady Riona, Nyago, Morgri, Infinite Entity, Fullmidget Alchemist, take-up-your-cross, Catty0798, Libeku Taganash, **and **EdxWinry!**

I don't understand why FF.N's New Policy does not allow authors to put reply for the reviews anymore. So, I'm going to upload my answers here. Sorry guys! I hope this new policy isn't permanent. I know I'mnot the only one who do not support this it. But for now, this is the best I can do to say thanks for my wonderful reviewers! Sorry for the inconviniences once again!

All replies will be submitted to my blog;

http / standupandwalkforward. blogs. friendster. com/ standupandwalkforward/

(remove the spaces)

Thank you soooo much for reviewing! I'll try to update more frequently!

* * *

I've reloaded the chapter because o f a little error pointed out byCatty0798, hehehe. I wrote Ed had wires poking out from his right leg, not left. Ooops. :p I have it corrected now! Thank you, Catty! 


	7. Denied Pain

**Impossible!**

**A Fanfiction of Fullmetal Achemist **

**Pairing**: EdxWin

**Rating**: K (plus) / PG

**Base**: Mostly Manga (books), though I'll probably got some minor stuff mixed up.

**Timeline**: The day of the nerves teraphy, the famous pain.Edward 11. Win 10. Al 10.

**Summary**: Pre-Series! Recovering from an Automail Surgery was not a small thing. With frustrated Edward as the patient and fuming Winry as the therapist, disaster shook the Rockbell household as all fights between them starts. EdxWin!

**Note**: As promised! The Nerves Teraphy is here! Don't take it too seriously, this is just a theory, you might as well enjoy it, okay?

**Warnings**: Uhm… nothing really, maybe some drama.

**

* * *

**

**Impossible!**

**Chapter Six**

**Denied Pain**

_

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Rizenbool, __July 11th 1910_

Around noon, they had the machine ready in the surgery room. Grandma Pinako began to attach all the wires from Ed's body to the machine as Winry went to fetch some things from the kitchen. She came back with a big plastic bowl and a piece of wood that was big enough to be Den's biting toy.

Both of the Elric brothers watched the Rockbells curiously.

Winry put the plastic bowl beside Ed's straightened bed and covered the wooden stick with thin cloth. Satisfied, she searched under the bed and pulled out a leather belt. She buckled the restraint to his chest.

Ed choked on his surprise, "What the-! Winry, what are you doing!"

She gave him a stern glare, "Don't do that! You startled me!"

Ed pushed the belt aside with his left hand, "Well, next time explain what you're going to do first! What am I; a prisoner?"

Winry rolled her eyes, "No, stupid! This is a necessary procedure!"

"Tying your patients on the bed like lunatics?"

She huffed, "No, protecting you from yourself!" Something twanged in her chest, but she ignored it.

"What's the difference!"

"_Dammit_, Ed-!"

Al parted the two of them with his large metal hands, "Okay, stop it, both of you!"

Pinako gave a sigh and said, "This is necessary, Edward. Winry, it might be better for you to tell him first what you are going to do."

"Sorry, Granny," said Winry automatically.

They glared at each other for a while before the boy finally sighed and replied, "Fine."

Winry thought of a comeback, but held back, "I'm going to buckle your chest, torso, hip, left wrist, and also you right thigh and calf, okay?" It was not really a question, but she was not in the mood to find another way to tell him.

Ed did not give her any reply but she took it as a yes. Winry proceeded to tie the rest of his body to the bed.

"I'm done, Granny," she said after securing all the belts.

"I'm done, too," said Pinako. The eldest Rockbell raised her head and finally gave all the occupants in the room an affirmative nod. "Let's start, then." She turned to Ed, "Ready, Edward?"

"Yes," replied Ed.

Winry fisted her hand, and took her position on the left side of the bed, while Al stood beside her, near the end.

Pinako positioned her forefinger near the machine's power switch. "When I turn on this machine, you're supposed to feel tickle on you shoulder and leg, understood?"

Ed nodded.

Pinako pushed the button. A blue, green, and yellow light suddenly turned on. A red light stayed off.

Ed's body gave a squirm and he muffled a surprise. His shoulder and leg twitched slightly, but from the look in his eyes, he did not appear like he was feeling pain.

Winry felt her heart tighten. "Just be strong, Ed," she whispered, but he did not hear her.

"You feel it?" Pinako asked the blonde boy.

"Yes," replied Ed, nodding.

Pinako pushed a button under the green light; it went off. "Do you feel hot?"

"Yes," he repeated.

Pinako switched the green light back on and turned off the yellow.

Ed choked a cry and squirmed more, his eyes wide open. "Dammit, baaba! That tickles!"

Pinako rolled her eyes, "The temperature and touch nerves are definitely working then," she said not to anyone in particular and turned the yellow lights back on.

Ed's squirm reduced.

"We'll go on to the next step then," said Pinako, "Winry, the stick, please…"

Winry picked up the nearly-forgotten wooden stick and turned to Ed. "Open your mouth and say 'Aa'!" she smiled, she would have grinned if she didn't know what was going to come.

Ed raised his eyebrows but complied, "Aaah..?"

Winry brought the wooden stick to his mouth. "Bite this and don't let go."

Ed gave her a questioning look, mouth still open. Winry could literally saw question marks hanging around him.

She smiled again reassuringly, "Just bite this no matter what, okay? Your life depends on it."

Ed looked like he did not really believe her, but complied without protest. He muffled something that sounded like 'okay' but quickly realized that he could not talk without letting go of the stick. He nodded instead.

Seeing Winry had gotten her task done, Pinako turned back to Ed, "Count with me inside your head." Then, she began, "One."

Winry took Ed's flesh hand into hers.

"Two,"

_'Be strong,'_ Winry's mind prayed.

"Three!"

Ed's body jolted violently, his eyes shut closed, and he released a muffled groan, biting hard on the piece of wood in his mouth.

"Pain nerve is working," Pinako muttered again, this time sympathetically.

"Nii-san!" Al shouted in alarm.

Winry clenched Ed's hand, her heart beating fast. She knew this would happen. Pain nerve was the most responsive one. So, although the machine stimulated all three kinds of nerve, the most the patient was going to feel was pain.

Winry raised her eyes to her Grandma, "It's okay now, right Granny? We can continue tomorrow?" she asked hopefully.

Pinako turned to Ed, "We can stop, Edward, or we can continue to the next step."

Still biting on his stick, Ed turned to Pinako and gave her a determined look.

Pinako smiled painfully, "You want to continue, then?"

Winry felt her heart froze.

Ed nodded.

"Nii-san!" Al shouted again, clenching the end of the bed so hard it was a wonder that it did not snap.

Pinako reached for a black button beside the red light. The button was much bigger, and it worked by turning it in clockwise direction. Around it was a scale in autojolts, the terms used for automail stimulation. The current position of the arrow on the button was pointed to '10'.

Pinako quickly turned it to '20'.

Ed groaned painfully and his body gave a violent jerk.

Winry choked on a sob. She stroke his flesh hand with her thumb gently, but knowing that he would not be able to feel it against the jolts of pain that were now raking his entire body.

Fifteen minutes later, Ed's pained groans were fewer and his body did not shake as hard.

Winry turned to her grandma. "He passed 20 autojolts, Granny…."

"You want to stop, Edward?" Pinako turned to her patient.

"Granny!" Winry shot in horror, her eyes widened. How her could Grandma do that! Ed was clearly in pain!

Ed shook his head no.

"Ed-!" Winry turned to the boy, but he ignored her.

Pinako turned the button to '30'.

Ed gave another violent groan and his body was jerking so hard that the bed shook with him.

Al shouted his brother's name again and made a movement like he was going for the machine.

Before Pinako could say anything to stop the younger Elric, Ed spat the wood and shouted, "Don't you _DARE_, Al-! _Argh-_!"

Winry did not have time to pick the wood again. She quickly thrust two of her finger into his mouth, just in time to prevent him from biting his own tongue.

She winced in pain and let out a breathy whimper.

Ed did not notice that it was not his stick that was in his mouth, he groaned again and bit on harder when he felt another rush of pain.

Suddenly it was all over. Ed's body suddenly stopped jerking violently, his groans of pain reduced to gasps of breath, and his teeth grew slack on the two fingers in his mouth.

Grandma Pinako had turned off the machine.

Ed's figure still twitched in the aftereffect of his pain, but he released the fingers and began to cough violently like he was choking on something.

Winry knew what was coming.

She instantly reached for the plastic bowl and shoved it right under his bowed head.

Ed vomited right then and there. Nothing really came out, because his stomach was almost empty, but he spat a little blood.

Winry almost panicked, he was not supposed to have internal bleeding. She looked at her Grandma, but found Pinako still stood beside the machine; sighing and shaking her head like nothing really bad had happened.

"Wipe his mouth, Winry," said Pinako. "I'll get a bandage for your fingers," she left the machine and made her way to the first-aid-kit cabinet.

Ed had finished throwing up by then and slumped limply, his breath ragged. "Next time, Al…" he began hoarsely, "I want you to stay outside."

Al did not protest; he seemed to be still in shock. Winry didn't blame him; maybe he didn't know that the treatment would be that painful. At least he took it better than most people after seeing someone have a nerves treatment.

Winry grabbed a clean rag a wipe Ed's mouth gently. That's when she realized that there was blood dripping from her hand, it trailed down to her elbow and dripped to his hospital gown.

She blinked.

Ed moved his face away from the rag and looked at the blood on his lap, then at the hand the was holding the now bloody rag in front of him, then to the person the hand belonged to. "Winry…," his eyes widened, "What-?"

He sounded so disoriented that she couldn't help but smile, though it was not a happy one.

He looked at her hand and back to her again, "Is that… did I?"

Not knowing what to answer, she gave him a tired laugh, "Told ya' not to let go…."

He gaped at her for sometime, "I…"

She shook her head and reached for the leather belt on his left wrist.

Al stopped her promptly, "Winry, no! I'll do it!"

"Thanks, Al," Winry smiled and let him unbuckle them. She turned to the other boy, "Are you okay?"

Ed looked at her disbelievingly. He did not answer immediately, but once again fixed his gaze to her hand that was hidden beneath the rag, "Winry, your hand…"

Pinako suddenly appeared, cutting off his sentence short. She pulled Winry's injured hand closer, and without so much warning, sprayed disinfectant.

Winry hissed in pain, she had not realized that her wound stung until that moment. "Granny…!" she pleaded, trying to pull her hand away.

"Hush," shushed Pinako. She quickly finished bandaging the two fingers in an expert manner and patted the back of her granddaughter's hand, "Good job, Winry."

Winry beamed.

Pinako turned to Ed, "We'll continue this tomorrow night," she said in a final tone.

Winry half expected that Ed would argue, but thankfully he didn't.

"I understand," replied Ed solemnly, his eyes glued on the bandage on Winry's fingers.

Pinako nodded in satisfaction. "How do you feel, then?"

Ed rose his gaze to the elder Rockbell, then his brother, and then to the girl standing beside him.

Winry smiled again painfully. They both knew that there was no turning back, not ever.

He retuned her smile with his own twisted one. "You'll get used to it," he replied finally.

**Ooo TBC ooO**

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A/N: That's it, what do you think? This nerves treatment is my own fragment of imagination, a mixed product from the scene in the anime where Ed groaned when having his automail surgery, and some insane logic that maybe only make sense to me. Hahaha. I don't remember Arakawa-sensei mentioning about the process of automail surgery… yet. But, this fanfic still has the potential for being a half AU, since we didn't know the ending for the books yet. ;) 

Well, next chapter should have focused more in the aftereffect of the Nerves Therapy. I've had it written down, but as always, still needs more polishing. :D

Anyway, I'm starting college on August 4th! So my update might slow down a little, I don't know yet. And my German classes also start this week. I think this will be a pretty busy year:D

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**Ooo DICTIONARY ooO **

**(o)baa-ba:** grandmother (rude)

**(o)nii-san:** older brother (polite)

* * *

**Ooo REPLIES ooO **

Thanks for: **Urbanfae, Catty0798, Morgri, EdxWinry, Nyago, Flip555, Infinite Entity, **and **Wrath-of-air!**

I don't understand why FF.N's New Policy does not allow authors to put reply for the reviews anymore. So, I'm going to upload my answers here. Sorry guys! I hope this new policy isn't permanent. I know I'mnot the only one who do not support this it. But for now, this is the best I can do to say thanks for my wonderful reviewers! Sorry for the inconviniences once again!

All replies will be submitted to my blog;

http / standupandwalkforward. blogs. friendster. com/ standupandwalkforward/

(remove the spaces)

Thank you soooo much for reviewing!


	8. Red and Gold

**Impossible!**

**A Fanfiction of Fullmetal Achemist**

**Pairing**: EdxWin

**Rating**: K (plus) / PG

**Base**: Mostly Manga (books), though I'll probably got some minor stuff mixed up.

**Timeline**: After thenerves treatment. Edward 11. Win 10. Al 10.

**Summary**: Pre-Series! Recovering from an Automail Surgery was not a small thing. With frustrated Edward as the patient and fuming Winry as the therapist, disaster shook the Rockbell household as all fights between them starts. EdxWin!

**Note**: College really slowed my updates! So sorry! My new routines still confuse and make me tired all the time.

**Warnings**: none…. At least I think there's none.

**

* * *

**

**Impossible!**

**Chapter Seven**

**Red and Gold**

_

* * *

Rizenbool, July 12th 1910 _

Ed had a fever.

Just like she knew he would. Almost all of the books she had read said that it was a very normal reaction, especially during nerves treatments. The fever started at night, soon after he finished his first therapy; Winry was the first one who noticed. After some convincing, they finally managed to usher him to bed.

His temperature increased as the hours ticked away. By one in the morning, he had reached 39º C, which wasn't good at all. Too bad they could not give him any medication, since any kinds of medicine was forbidden while patients were undergoing their nerves therapy. The only thing she could do was putting a bag of ice-cold water on his forehead so the fever would not damage his brain.

He slept restlessly, occasionally tossing and turning, waking up every now and then. She was forced to handle him slightly rough to keep him on his back, so the ice bag would not slip.

Al was outside the room, he sometimes did that. He had been sitting outside a lot at nights. The first time Winry discovered this new habit of his was also in a time like this; Ed was struggling with a fever, and she was sitting in the room nursing him. That was also the night that Winry found out that Al did not sleep… could not sleep with his present body.

Ed turned again to his side, facing her. The ice bag slipped again from his forehead, hitting the mattress with a bump. She was about to stand up and correct his position when his eyes slowly opened.

His voice came out hoarse at first, so he cleared his throat before trying again, "Winry… Al's outside?" His gold eyes pierced in the night, even if they were rather dilated, probably due to his fever.

"Yes," she replied. She put one hand at each of his shoulders and pushed him back gently.

Ed got her message and obliged, his eyes wandered to the ceiling.

Winry put the ice bag back onto his forehead but he avoided it.

"No, too cold." he complained.

She dropped the bag onto her lap. "You prefer a cool cloth instead?"

"Hmm," he murmured his agreement.

She decided that she could get the things later; she put the ice bag beside the candle on the side table. "How do you feel?"

He lifted his left forearm, put over his eyes and snorted dejectedly, "Like crap."

She let out a soft laugh, "Body hurts all over?"

"Hmm," he murmured again.

"Well, your fever is high, maybe I should get you that cool cloth now?"

"Not right now; I'm fine. Maybe later," said Ed. He lifted his forearm, wincing in the process. "No medication, huh?" he asked wryly.

"No," Winry shook her head. "Sorry."

"I hate medicines anyway…" he trailed off indifferently, his voice slurred.

Winry smiled tenderly, "You're going back to sleep?" She pulled his blanket up to his chin then brushed the fabric gently.

Ed murmured something she couldn't hear, but probably something like _'thank you' _or _'yes.' _But knowing Ed it was probably the last.

She waited a few seconds as his breath steadied; after she was convinced that he was asleep she stood up and made her way towards the door.

"…ay…."

Winry stopped in her tracks, not quite sure if it was his voice that she had heard. Slowly, she turned on her heels, "Huh?"

"Stay here…," he slurred again.

She moved back beside his bed, wanting to check if he was really awake or he was only talking in his sleep. Surprisingly, his eyes were open, though they were still rather dilated. He was staring right through her, like he didn't really see her standing there.

Winry felt the pained smile tugged the corner of her lips. She brushed his long bangs away from his face. "I'll get Al for you…."

His left hand abruptly came out from under the covers and held her wrist, his eyes focused on hers, "No… stay, Win…"

Winry suddenly felt exceptionally hot, especially around her face, and her heart picked up a pace. He had never called her _'Win'_ before… it felt disturbing… _yet_ in a strange pleasant kind of way. She tried to pull her hand away, but Ed held tight. For a sick person, he had quite a strong grip.

Her throat felt dry. "I- but your cool cloth?" Winry did not like the stammer in her voice.

"Just put the ice-bag back." It was no request, his command came out plain and clear; leaving no room for her to argue.

"Mmm…kay," she replied uneasily, sitting down again on her wooden bench. Ed slowly let go of her wrist.

Silence fell between them, the only sound she could hear was Ed's rather heavy but steady breath. Not knowing what to do, she put the ice-bag back onto his forehead. This time he did not move away from it and his eyes eventually slid close again.

_He looks peaceful like that;_ she thought. His face was relaxed, and his expression was of one who did not care for the rest of the world. When she studied his sleeping face, it finally came to her how much Ed had changed. He did not smile in his sleep anymore. He used to grin like an idiot when he was sleeping, stomach exposed and all. She used to tease him while he napped under their_ sanctuary_. She smiled tenderly at the fond memories.

His sleep was not the only thing that had changed in him. He was less open… more quiet. His grins reduced to dry smiles, his laugh was almost unheard of. He spent a lot of time in the library, surprisingly reading books about automail –not alchemy like she would have expected him to. He never even bragged about his alchemy anymore, nor did she see him doing it. She was happy that he was out of his state of depression, but seeing the laugh escape his life was equally as painful.

"I don't want him to see," Ed suddenly spoke, snapping her out of her musings. His voice eerily quiet.

Winry stood and pulled his blanket up again, his arm back under it. "Al?"

He hummed his _'yes.'_

"You don't want him to see what, Ed?"

Ed fell silent for a while; Winry thought he would not answer.

"… me," he replied slowly, hesitantly. "I don't want him to see me complaining," another pause, "Compared to his pain this is nothing."

"Ed...," she began sadly.

"…they hurt," he cut off her sentence, like he did not even want to hear what she had to say.

She stared at him. _Did he just…?_

"…the jolts hurt really bad," Ed continued, "I felt like my arm and leg were torn all over again, and seared with a dagger again…. They were all over my body, I couldn't think straight… I couldn't see straight… all I see is red and gold, they blinded me…."

Her eyes blurred, and she bit on her lower lip. His voice rang in her mind, his groans of pain from the treatment echoed inside her head. Winry felt drained, she felt useless… she hated feeling useless.

She opened her mouth to say something, but the only thing came out was a horrible whimper.

"I shouldn't complain," Ed threw his face away, his voice in disgust. The ice-bag slipped again, but neither of them moved to pick it up. "This is my decision; I don't have the rights to protest."

Winry bit on her lower lip harder. She cursed in frustration inside her head. She did not want him to know that she was crying. She could feel his gaze searing her; she did not dare to lift her face, hiding behind her bangs.

His voice came out quiet, almost weary, "Why are you crying?"

Her hands instantly flew to her eyes, no use pretending anymore now that he knew. Wiping her tears furiously, she shook her head, not giving him any reply.

He gave a tired snort, shaking his head, "You always cry a lot, Winry…."

"Shut up," she quipped hoarsely, masked with emotions.

Ed returned his gaze to the ceiling. "I never meant to make you cry…," he murmured distantly.

She shook her head again. She didn't want to make him get the wrong impression, she was not crying because he was complaining. "I don't care. I prefer crying than not knowing about your pain."

"…."

"No. I'm serious, Ed. I'm your therapist, from now on; I want to hear every pain from you, every discomfort."

"You're crying," he argued.

"Not because you complained."

Ed looked at her again, his expression unreadable.

She held his gaze, her voice now strong, demanding, "Promise me you will. You'll tell me every time you feel it."

He did not answer immediately. His gold eyes studied her, unwavering. But in the end he sighed yieldingly, "Okay, I promise."

She nodded, but not done yet, "And when you finally get those metal limbs, you'll let me be your mechanic and take care of them. I would have no less."

"…fine," he shook his head. "You and your automail… I always knew you were weird."

She huffed in an unlady-like manner, "Well, I'm a girl mechanic, what did you expect? A perfect _Xing_ bride?"

He smiled at her secretively and her stomach fluttered. She decided that she did not want to know what he was thinking about.

Grandma Pinako entered the room not long after, demanding Winry to have some sleep. Al came back to the room, and took over her duty. The next thing she knew, she was steered away to own room and tucked into bed in no more than ten minutes.

"Try to get some sleep," said Pinako as she lit a candle beside Winry's bed.

Winry opened her mouth to say something but it quickly turned into a huge yawn. She murmured her agreement and turned away from the door, lying on her right side. "_Oyasumi_, baa-chan," she murmured again.

"Sweet dreams, Winry," replied her grandma. Winry did not even hear the elder woman exit the room; she was out in a flash.

She did have a sweet dream that night (or morning, regarding the grandfather's clock). She dreamt something about a Xing wedding, she was wearing a red wedding dress, and her groom had familiar gold eyes.

She did not remember the dream by the time she woke up. The only thing left from her dream was a small pleasant smile tugging on the corner of her lips, and a blur of red and gold.

**Ooo TBC ooO**

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A/N: That's what I got for trying to put some romance… ugh. I'm not trying it again for at least a couple of chapters! (screams in frustration) I missed their fights already! (sobs) Well… actually I really wanted to write more EdxWin romance, but in their current age and all the bad things going on I don't see any good place to build some fluff… yet. I'm really starting to think about something AU… I always love AU fics. Ugh… I hope this distraction will go away soon so I can concentrate in this fic more. **

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Ooo DICTIONARY ooO **

**(o)baa-chan:** grandmother

**oyasumi:** good night, sweet dreams. (…you get the picture)

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**Oooo REPLIES oooO**

Thanks for: **Urbanfae, ****Catty0798, ****Morgri, ****EdxWinry, ****Nyago, ****Flip555, ****Infinite Entity, ****candidus-lupus-full Moon, ****Panku Tasuku**, and **Lady Roina!**

I don't understand why FF.N's New Policy does not allow authors to put reply for the reviews anymore. So, I'm going to upload my answers here. Sorry guys! I hope this new policy isn't permanent. I know I'mnot the only one who do not support this it. But for now, this is the best I can do to say thanks for my wonderful reviewers! Sorry for the inconviniences once again!

All replies will be submitted to my blog;

http / standupandwalkforward. blogs. friendster. com/ standupandwalkforward/

(remove the spaces)

Thank you soooo much for reviewing!

* * *

Well… that's the end of this chapter! See you soon! 

:D **REVIEW!**


	9. To Deal

**Impossible!**

**A Fanfiction of Fullmetal Achemist **

**Pairing**: EdxWin

**Rating**: K (plus) / PG

**Base**: Mostly Manga (books), though I'll probably got some minor stuff mixed up.

**Timeline**: well, basically between the nerves treatment and the docking surgery. Edward 11. Win 10. Al 10.

**Summary**: To stand up and walk forward might not be as easy as you think. Sadly, Ed and Winry had to learn it the bad way. But together, hopefully something good might come out of it. EdxWin!

**Note**: Well, the good news is; the new chapter is here and the next was almost done. The bad news is, my whole hyper and fandom with Fullmetal Alchemist finally calmed down (a lot!) I don't know if this is permanent… I sure hope not. My logic is that I am currently too tired to be able to think of anything creative. Don't worry, I'll keep updating but maybe not as frequent.

**Warnings**: none…. Again.

**

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**

**Chapter Eight **

**To Deal**

_

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Rizenbool, __July 20th 1910_

The Elric brothers were probably the closest siblings in Amestris; both of them so ready to sacrifice oneself for the other. It was always a wonder how two brothers with such different personalities could have gotten so close. Though inevitably, even the closest siblings had their fights; and they said the closest always had the nastiest.

Their fights had always been fierce. Before the two Elrics knew alchemy, they would engage themselves on a fist fight. After returning from Dublith, they would use alchemy _and_ fists in their fights. Ed seemed to have a natural talent of saying something that would hurt Al's feelings and vice versa.

Winry could always tell if the two brothers were about to fight, it could have been something she developed from her survival instinct. She would know if both of their tempers had been on the edge and about to burst -especially Ed, who was always open to his anger.

But even though she had a vague guess of what was the reason of their fight, she still could not stop their fight from happening. She didn't know what to do... she was always like that.

This time was no different.

Ed and Al were in the surgery room, in which Ed was currently staying for his nerves treatment. And she was washing the dishes from their afternoon meal. Their shouting suddenly started and made her almost break the porcelain plate she had been washing.

"Why do I always have to do what you say!" yelled Al.

"Oh, shut it, Al!" yelled Ed back. "It's not something big! Why can't you just-"

Winry put her plate down carefully, reached for the metal faucet, and turned the water off. She then made her way to the surgery room.

"See! You see, that!" came Al's angry retort, "Why does it always have to be your way!"

"What did you say!" Ed demanded as heatedly.

"You're selfish! You don't even let me say anything!"

"Selfish -_Fine_! I don't _care_ anymore! Just LEAVE!"

By the time Winry arrived at the scene, Al had already slammed the door shut and yelled back, "Fine! I'm LEAVING!" He almost knocked her to the floor as he trudged his way to the back yard -leaving with a furious clanging sound of metal footsteps.

Though she should have not been surprised, Winry was frozen for a moment. She had always been confused every time she witnessed their nasty fight… for no actual reason but feeling torn between the two.

She was confused on whose side she should stand up for without hurting the other, and whose place she should go first without making the other feel left out. She hated feeling confused and torn; those feelings frustrated her. Still, she didn't know what to do to both so she ended up smacking both of their heads with her wrench, tears streaming down her cheeks, demanding peace.

Grandma Pinako arrived at the scene. "What is going on here?" she demanded.

Winry turned to the older Rockbell, "They were fighting, Granny…. Maybe Ed finally told Al to stay outside for the rest of the nerves therapy."

Her Grandma raised her eyebrows, "Ed told you this?"

Winry didn't know why she suddenly felt flushed, remembering a particular conversation she had had with Ed one night not so long ago, "No, I'm just guessing…."

Grandma Pinako nodded, then she began to leave.

Winry was surprised at that, "Granny? Wh-What are we going to do?"

Grandma Pinako turned again, studied her granddaughter's perplexed expression. After a while, she answered, "Nothing, Winry. I trust each of them already know that the things they said to each other are not true."

"But…," Winry still had her doubts; both the brothers could be so stubborn and dense sometimes… well, at least Ed could.

Pinako smiled, "But I think it would help if you talk with Mr. Sulking just behind that door. I just know that he is beating himself over what he said."

Winry looked over her shoulder to the closed guest room, which hid a sulking eleven-year-old. She looked back to her grandma, "But, Al…?"

"I believe he will return once he has calmed down," said Pinako.

"But…," Winry hesitated again, "but Ed can't walk right now… he always goes after Al after their fights…."

Pinako sighed resignedly, "Which one does your heart tell you to go?"

Winry was taken aback, she didn't expect her grandma to ask such thing. "I…," she trailed, her eyes journeyed back to the door behind her.

She turned back, she found her grandma already gone from sight, possibly back into the workshop.

Her feelings were out of order. She couldn't decide, and her grandma did not want to help her.

Al was probably by the riverbanks, sorting his feelings out … alone. Like he always did every time he fought with Ed. Being the cool headed one of the brothers, he had picked up the best way for dealing with an angry Edward -which is leaving the older boy alone.

And Ed…

Her grandma might be right, Ed was probably blaming himself, Winry knew how his mind worked these days. He was so busy blaming himself that he could not see which fault was his and which wasn't anymore.

Winry suddenly realized where her thought was leading her to admit. Her eyes widened in surprise.

She… wanted to see Ed.

No matter how much of bad mood he was having at that moment, she just wanted to see him.

She felt like being poured with cold water.

Since when… Since when did she start thinking about him more? Since when did she feel so afraid to loose him? She had known him almost as long as she had known Al… how could she feel different about the two of them now?

Damn that Edward… sneaking into her mind like that. She had to be more cautious or she would end up liking him better than Al. She did not want that; they were both her best friends. She needed to give them equal attention, or one of them would feel left out. She knew how being left out felt like, and she did not want that for her friends.

She should play neutral. The both needed her right now. She should not take sides in this fight.

Her mind set, she spun on her heel and made her way to the door. She knocked three times.

"Leave me alone!" was Ed's foul answer.

Winry wince at his fierce tone but did not back away. Without even giving him any further note, she opened the door. Ed's bare back was facing her as he sat on his wheelchair.

Silently she note the various colored wires flowing from his shoulder and hanging by a hook attached to the steel wheelchair. Today was the third day of his nerves therapy, and he still had a long way to go before he could stand up on both of his feet again.

He looked over his shoulder, shooting her an angry glare before looking away again. He muttered something under his breath that she couldn't hear but was quite sure of what he had said.

She closed the door with a frown, "Well, if it bothers you so much Ed, you should figure out a better way to say it. Maybe then, they'll listen to you."

He gave a snort before replying bitterly, "Is that why you came in? You're going to tell me that I'm a selfish arrogant good-for-nothing person, too?"

Winry felt her nerves twitch. "No one is saying that you're selfish," her voice flat and even, "and we already knew that you're arrogant. So please try something new, Ed, like _stupidity_." She emphasized the last part just to make a point.

He turned to her, his eyes clearly showed that he had not expected her last comments. "What-?" his began throatily, but quickly cleared his throat, "You think I'm stupid!" His eyes hardened and his tone became defensive.

She gave a skeptical laugh. "Yeah, well… sitting here blaming yourself for what happened isn't the smartest thing to do, don't cha think?" She made sure the last of her sentence sounded cheery, just because she knew it would annoy him.

And as expected, it provoked him. "Who said I'm blaming myself! It's not my fault Al overreacted when I asked him a simple request!"

"You're sure you aren't blaming yourself?"

Ed narrowed his eyes, clearly bothered by her answer. He turned away. "Just what I need," he grumbled, "my brother and my best friend loosing faith in me."

Winry wanted to take the nearest chair and smack the back of his head, but she forced her temper down. One of them had to be an adult in this argument; she could not take his bait for changing the topic every time. Someone had to snap some sense into that thick and stubborn head of his.

"I only know that you did what you did because you think it's for the best," her tone soften before turned sharp again, "but you never think about the people around you before making that decision."

He snapped back to her, "So you think I'm selfish." He did not really state it like a question, but she took it as one.

"You got that right," she replied squarely, holding his gaze.

His eyes hardened, she thought she saw a glint of pain in them. Ed quickly looked away. "You don't understand," he gritted out, harsh and angry.

Winry moved towards him until she was standing right behind his wheelchair. She was not exactly happy with his answer. "No, Ed, actually I do. It's _you_ who doesn't understand."

Ed gave her a snort, clearly not believing her.

That broke her temper. She did not care about settling things down anymore. "I don't think it's us who are losing faith in you…" she replied dangerously. Something in her heart gave a rough pinch and she clenched her fists. "I think it's you who are loosing faith in _us_; your _best friend_ and your _brother_."

"How can you say that!" he snapped, turning back. He pinned her with a blazing gaze. She glared back relentlessly. If looks could kill then both of them would have been dead.

Winry did not back away; she hated him at that moment. He asked for it. He made her feel all sorts of things that made her confused, she felt ready to explode. "Don't you think so, Ed?" she cried back mercilessly. "Did you tell Al why you want him outside for the rest of the therapy?"

Ed opened his mouth to retort but she beat him into it;

"Shut up! If you didn't explain, how do you think he could understand?" Her eyes burned.

"Dammit, Winry!"

"_Shut up!_ I know you don't want him to see you in pain!"

Ed closed his mouth and stayed silent.

_'There he goes again, staying silent and not bothering to explain,' _the thought was bitter in her mind. She clenched her fists so hard they hurt and trembled."If you didn't say anything, how could you expect us to understand?" her voice shook.

"Winry…," he began in caution, like he was afraid she would blow.

She did not blame him. She felt she would.

Winry drew breath, "You promised…," she whispered tiredly, not really meant it to be heard.

Ed met her eyes, knowing perfectly which promise she was talking about. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. Then he looked away, hiding his eyes behind his bangs.

Her hands flew to her eyes but found only little moisture, she was rather pleased to know that she had not been crying… at least visibly.

They stay silent; the tension so tight it could be cut with a knife. Winry didn't really expect an apology from Ed; he was more stubborn than that. He would not go against what he thought was right just for her sake. He was never like that -even before the whole incident happened.

She sighed. If he was not going to apologize then neither was she. She put her hands to both handles of his wheelchair. "So, shall we go?" her voice calmed once again, not a hint of their prior argument.

"Wha- Wait!" he was surprised when she suddenly moved his wheelchair. "Where are we going?"

She stopped, "Don't you want to find Al?"

Ed looked at her like she had grown a third head. Time ticked away and she thought he would not say a thing. But he finally shook his head; a yielding sigh escaped his lips. "Dammit… you have never changed, Winry."

She felt a bitter smile tugged her lips, "Neither have you, Ed."

The irony hung between them and he gave her his own twisted smile.

She knew that both of their sentences were not exactly true. She had lost count on how often she mused about the changes in him. And she also knew that she had changed, so he probably felt the same way.

She had never outspokenly accused him for being wrong, she never had the courage. She was too afraid that he would hate her. And she had never gotten angry enough to hate him. She did today, and even though the feeling was only short-lived, it shocked her.

And maybe, because of those changes… their relationship had also changed. One thing for sure; they were not exactly partners-in-crime anymore…. They certainly were not doing any pranks, pretend-exploration, or anything of the sorts.

Winry pushed the wheelchair again, away from the surgery room. They were both silent, but different from the one they were having not so long ago. Through the silence, she could feel that he did not hold any grudge against her from their previous argument; he did not hate her, and was more than okay to forget about it.

Their arguments had always been like that. They almost never apologized to each other, their after fight silence had already spoken their apology… almost as if they knew that the fight was only a moments outburst of their pent up frustration. They would get along well again after those fights and the topic was not to be picked up again until the next fight.

After a while of searching, they found the younger Elric not by the riverbanks like she had originally thought, but surprisingly in the living room -possibly on his way back into the house.

The two brothers stared at each other for a moment, and Winry felt the familiar silence settled between them.

"Nii-san…," Al began.

"Listen, Al…," Ed stopped his brother's sentence before it got any further.

Their conversation ended there. They looked at each other's eyes, as if they were trying to communicate through their mind ….and Winry would not be surprised if they did.

"Nii-san," Al began again, this time his brother did not stop him. "I'll stay outside through your nerves treatments."

Ed did not answer immediately, but studied the huge form of his brother before he finally replied, "…thanks." He gave the twisted grin Winry often saw these days.

And they left it at that, no apology as usual; both were probably too stubborn and proud. But Winry knew from experience that everything would be okay again between the two. After all, they were brothers, and what were they for if they could not forgive each other?

**Ooo TBC ooO**

A/N: I'm sorry the update was very late. I still have a feeling that something was wrong with this chapter, but no matter how much I tried to rewrite and edited it couldn't get any better. To be short, I don't really like the way this chapter turned out. Maybe I should have put a flash back? Or another events from their childhood? Did I rush the ending? Ugh…..

**Ooo DICTIONARY ooO **

**baka:** stupid

**(o)nii-san:** older brother (polite)

**Oooo REPLIES oooO**

Thanks for **WildfireDreams, Sad4ngel, Fullmidget Alchemist, Flip555, Inu-Baby18, candidus-lupus-full Moon, KamauFox, urbanfae, Bubblefox473, Catty0798, EdxWinry **and other readers!

I don't understand why FF.N's New Policy does not allow authors to put reply for the reviews anymore. So, I'm going to upload my answers here. Sorry guys! I hope this new policy isn't permanent. I know I'mnot the only one who do not support this it. But for now, this is the best I can do to say thanks for my wonderful reviewers! Sorry for the inconviniences once again!

All replies will be submitted to my blog;

http / standupandwalkforward. blogs. friendster. com/ standupandwalkforward/

(remove the spaces)

* * *

Thanks for Lady Riona for helping me spell-check this chapter!

* * *

Thanks for reading and please **Review**! 


	10. On the Way to a Smile

**Impossible!**

**A Fanfiction of Fullmetal Achemist**

**Pairing**: EdxWin

**Rating**: K (plus) / PG

**Base**: Mostly Manga (books), though I'll probably got some minor stuff mixed up.

**Timeline**: After the nerves treatment & the docking surgery. Edward 11. Win 11. Al 10.

**Summary**: To stand up and walk forward might not be as easy as you think. Sadly, Ed and Winry had to learn it the bad way. But together… hopefully something good might come out of it. Pre-series! EdxWin!

**Note**: I know… it took me ages to finish this up At least, this is a chapter that I like! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

Well, now a little quiz, ; ten points for somebody who can guess where the title of this chapter came from!

**Warnings**: Large gap of time from the last chapter. Check the given date for further reference, if you're that curious. Other else is nothing…. Few Japanese, but not much, you know me!

**---**

**Chapter Nine**

**On the Way to a Smile**

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_Rizenbool, August 12th 1910_

The days come and gone; and season slowly changed from summer to fall. The once famous green field of Rizenbool had amazingly transformed to the beautiful red and orange of autumn.

For the rest of June, nothing really happened at the Rockbells resident except Ed's daily nerves therapy. But finally, he passed his treatment. He did it faster than anyone had ever done before, thanks to his abnormally fast adaptation to his new synthetic nerves. Frankly, Winry was quite surprised that he had not been coughing up any blood -his improvement was terrifyingly fast. Thankfully, it was finally over; and Winry was very delighted to tell him that.

A week after that, Ed was ready to take his docking surgery. It took place at the first week of August and went very well with no sign of rejection at all.

Metal docking ports now neatly replaced the various colored wires on his left shoulder and right leg. Although, they were still not ready to give him his automails yet. Even so, Ed seemed happy enough-probably because he did not look like a violently abused automaton anymore.

One afternoon, after a very tiring journey from the market, Winry stormily entered the house. She slammed the door roughly behind her, dropping some carrots from her shopping basket in the process. Her breath was uneven. She appeared like she had something (or someone) chasing her.

"I swear," she gave a tired grumble, not to anyone in particular, "I am going to ask grandma to put up a stronger fence!"

Feeling someone watching her she looked up and was surprised when she found both of the Elric brothers staring at her, probably because she had startled them.

Yes, both of them were in the living room. After a full week of staying in bed, Ed was finally allowed to move around as freely as he could with his wheelchair and all. He now spent as much of time as he could away from the surgery room. Supposedly he was sick of the white boring walls of the surgery room… Winry smiled at that.

Al was the first who recovered from his surprise and greeted her cheerfully, "Welcome back, Winry!"

He was too cheerful in her opinion, but Winry let it go. "Hi, Al!" she greeted back, picking up her carrots. Her eyes trailed along the window curtains, checking if they were firmly closed.

Ed noticed her antics. "The villagers again, huh?" he asked uncomfortably.

Winry gave a dry laugh. "It's okay. It's not your fault," she said.

Al made a protesting sound, but she stopped him.

"No, Al, it's their fault," said Winry dismissively. "You'd think they would have better things to gossip about except who is having automail and for what."

"What is it that they talked this time?" asked Ed half-weary-half-curious.

Winry scrunched her face disgustedly in reply. "It's turning into a full blown gossip!" she complained in an almost-moan.

Rizenbool was quite in the middle of a fire, literally, since the village had finally realized the strange happenings around the Elric orphans. Almost a month ago, someone had managed to over-hear Ed's scream when he was having one of his nerves treatment, triggering the curiosity among the villagers.

Everyone started asking why he would need an automail. Winry didn't even know how they found out that it was indeed Ed who was having the automail. Honestly, it could have been anybody! Grandma Pinako was quite famous for her works, so it was common for them to have clients from out of the village.

But then again, in a small community like Rizenbool where_ everybody knew everybody_, it would be something impossible if somebody from out of town came without the village dwellers noticing. So that probably lined down their listing to either Ed or Al.

But lately, the villagers even went as far as visiting the house and requesting to see the Elrics, or just plain asking some questions to whomever answered the door (mainly Winry). This annoyed the girl and Grandma Pinako greatly. Ed was rather lucky because he still could not stand and remained hidden in the surgery room.

Winry stood up after collecting the last of her groceries and moved closer. "The last time I heard," she continued her previous statement, "they were developing a theory which involved a giant truck and a cow!"

Ed gave her a look like he had difficulty processing that last bit of information. "I won't ask," he said finally.

Winry sighed again, "The village women would not leave it alone…" she mumbled.

Al murmured his agreement gravely.

Winry put her shopping basket to the nearby table before settling down the sofa. "What were you guys talking about?" she asked, deciding to change the subject before she got a headache.

"Nothing," Ed answered hastily.

"Calendar," Al replied at the same time and both the brothers looked at each other.

She raised her eyebrows.

"Calendar," Ed replied, turning back to her.

"Nothing," said Al in chorus.

She could not hold back her snort. "Why don't you two decided first before telling me?" she teased.

The two boys looked at each other again.

Winry shook her head. "Nevermind, you don't need to tell me," she offered nonchalantly.

Al looked relieved, but Ed frowned. "It's nothing because we're talking about calendar, Winry," said Ed.

She had a distant feeling that he knew she was up set, but she brushed it away. "Oh? What about the calendar?" She searched the wall for the said item and found it at the usual place beside the grandfather's clock. She felt a wave strange emotion suddenly fill her chest….

She vaguely heard Ed talking to her, "You don't mark off the calendar anymore?" he asked.

She turned back to him, "Huh? Uh, no…. Not since the end of JuneI think."

They all knew what happened at the end of June, and the three occupants in the room were drowned in their own thoughts.

Al finally broke the silence, "Why did you start marking off the calendar, Winry? I've meant to ask you since forever."

She turned to Al and smiled, "Just for fun."

Ed looked at her strangely and she avoided his gaze. Maybe _he_ remembered why she marked off calendars; Al probably didn't. But then again, if she remembered correctly, Al was not there when Aunt Trisha had given her her first calendar to cross.

Brushing away her thoughts, Winry began cheerfully, "Anyway, what day is today?" she had genuinely forgot what day it was. She had lost tracks of dates due to all the hustle-bustle going on recently.

"I think it's Tuesday?" Al offered, turning to his brother.

Ed shrugged, "Who knows, I never bother checking the calendar anymore. But I think my docking surgery was on August 4th?"

She stood up, "It's been eight days since then, and I've counted." She went near the abandoned calendar, and flipped it until she reached August. "So… today is August 12th," she said matter-of-factly.

A sudden realization hit her and her eyes widen. _Oh... August 12th already…_, she thought gloomily she really had lost track of time.

"What's wrong, Winry?" she heard Al asked.

She turned to the two boys again and smile, "Nothing! Well, I better take the groceries up to the kitchen." She picked up the shopping basket and made a move towards the door, but at the same time Grandma Pinako entered the room.

"Why not later, Winry? I think you might want to see this," said Pinako, carrying a tool box and a strangely cylindrical piece made of plastic.

Winry put her groceries down the floor and took the plastic cylinder from the older woman's hand. She instantly recognized what it was.

All ominous thoughts flew out of her head at once. Winry squealed in delight and rushed back to Ed in a flash. "Ed! Ed, look what Granny brought you!"

Ed raised his eyebrows but evenly looked at the plastic block in Winry's hand. His eyes widen once he found out what it was, "That is…."

"A prosthetic leg!" Winry finished for him happily, the end of her sentence pitched in delight.

"Nii-san! Congratulations!" said Al excitedly.

Ed could only stare.

A prosthetic leg was very famous among the Rockbell's clients since it was the best option for anybody who did not want to have automail. The fake leg, though made of plastic, was as solid as wood but much lighter. It balanced well, making the wielder able to stand up on both legs without difficulty. It worked by the momentum given by the upper part of the wielder's body, so it did not need to be connected to the nerves. But because of that, the prosthetic leg was rather incompatible for complex movement such as running or jumping.

Grandma Pinako had moved towards them unnoticeably, and now stood beside Ed's wheelchair with a grin on her face. "I think your leg has healed enough," she said to Ed, "Do you want to put it on, Edward?"

Ed snapped out of his trance. "Are you kidding! Of course, I do!" he almost screeched his reply. Winry didn't blame him. Just the thought of Ed standing again was enough to make her want to cry in joy.

Grandma Pinako gave a satisfied nod and turned to her granddaughter, "Why don't you put it on him, Winry?"

"Me?" Winry asked breathlessly. Grandma trusted her enough to put on Ed's first leg! She couldn't believe that the day could get any better.

Pinako's grin turned mischievous, "You want _me_ to do it?"

"No!" Winry replied quickly, "I'll… I'll do it!" Her hand shook as gripped the plastic leg strongly. She turned to Al, "Al… can you get that wooden bench?" she pointed to a tripod near the corner of the living room.

Al was too excited to question the order and quickly crossed the room and back again with the bench.

Winry turned to Ed, "We need you to sit on that."

Ed nodded and Al helped his brother change seats. The air suddenly felt tense but exciting at the same time, making all the three children feel anxious. But for once, Winry enjoy the feeling very much. After a while of struggling Ed was finally seated on the wooden tripod.

Winry moved in front of Ed and got down to her knees. She balanced the plastic leg on the ground so it could stand; on the upper end was a plastic cap. It was supposed to be pinned to Ed's thigh dock. She looked up at Edward, "Ready, Ed?"

"Do you really need to ask!" Ed answered in breathless anticipation.

Winry shook her head. He was as eager as she was. With shaking hands she put the thigh plastic cap and slowly pushed it over Ed's metal dock; it slid in smoothly. She felt like her heart would burst from excitement.

She searched for a wrench inside the tool box that Grandma Pinako had put down beside the bench. When she found the one she needed, she started tightening the screws. She didn't know how much time had passed; only that it felt like ages. When she finally finished with the screws, beads of sweats already covered her forehead. She lifted her arm to wipe them away.

"I can stand now?" Ed's sudden voice startled her.

She looked at him, "Slowly, you're not balanced yet. We need to adjust the length first!"

"I don't care, I want to stand," Ed replied but obediently wait for Al to help him stand up, Winry remained kneeling beside him, waiting until he was on both feet before continuing her duty.

To adjust the length of the leg was easier than fitting the plastic cap to the metal dock. The prosthetic leg was equipped with a sliding gear so they only need to pull or push the lower part of the plastic thigh. To tighten it, there was only one big screw. Winry quickly finished the task.

She felt her leg lose its power. She crumpled to floor; a sigh of relief escaped her lips. Her heart finally calmed down and she suddenly felt lightheaded. She did not understand why she suddenly felt so spent, there was nothing exhausting in fitting a simple plastic leg to somebody.

"You okay, Win?"

Her heart jumped again and she looked up. She was looking up to Ed… and he was standing. She felt like being poured with warm water, her chest tightened with emotion. When she finally opened her mouth to reply, her voice came out intense, "How do you feel standing up again?"

He grinned.

She could not remember the last time he had grinned like that. She could not remember the last time he had grinned at all. Most of all, she could not remember that her stomach had ever done flip-flops when she saw him grinning.

His grin stayed and he offered his left hand to her, palm turned up. "Need a hand?" he asked cockily.

The action was so unexpected; or rather uncharacteristic of him that she stared at the offered hand dumbly. She studied his form; he had never looked so tall. He had never looked so pleased.

She felt her own smile began to grow. "Yes," she replied, taking the hand. "Yes," she repeated silently.

Winry didn't think Ed had ever looked that steady, even when he lost his balance as he tried to pull her up, sending both of them down the floor once again. Everyone in the room laughed out loud and Winry realized that she had not been laughing that hard since the whole thing started. And for all its worth, it had also been a very long time since the room was filled with those happy laughs.

And there, between the happy laugh, cheerful teasing, and gasps of breath, she could feel the spark of hope began to grow. At last she could feel it grow… bigger… brighter… and warmer than ever. Finally everything started to fall into place.

It was indeed the best birthday present she had ever received.

---

_Winry was in the Elric's home, helping Aunt Trisha tidying after their evening meal. She had stayed by the Elrics for three days, ever since her parent's departure to Ishibal War._

_Winry did not dare to return to her house. She was afraid that her parent's absence would be too hard for her to bear and would make her cry. She had promised her parents she would not to cry. So she had accepted the boys invitation to stay overnight without hesitation, it seemed to be the perfect solution… the perfect hiding place._

_"Winry," called Trisha with her gentle melodious voice._

_Winry turned to the older woman and smile, "Mm?"_

_Trisha returned the smile, "I've got something for you…" She handed Winry a pink table calendar and a pink pencil._

_Winry stared at the small calendar confusedly. It was very cute, with drawings of white fluffy bunnies on the corner of every page. The calendar_ _had two cross marks over the third and fourth of November. She looked up to her aunt expectantly._

_Aunt Trisha smiled down to her, "You like it?"_

_Winry nodded._

_Trisha's smile grew warmer. "Do you know that marking off the dates will make time go faster?"_

_Winry blinked._

_"Here, let me show you…." Trisha gently took Winry's had that was holding the pencil and gently guided_ _her to make a nice big cross over the fifth of November. _

_Winry could only stare._

_Trisha gave her a motherly smile, "Some people look too much to the past that they forget that they still have to go in front of them." She gave Winry a hug and continued, "When you're waiting for someone, it's not good to let your feelings blind you, time will slow down so you'll feel like you're waiting very long."_

_Winry tilt her head to the side, not really understanding what her aunt was saying but determined to catch every word. "So if we cross off _the _calendar… time will go faster?"_

_Trisha smiled, "If leave all the waiting to the calendar, and pay more attention to all around us, time will go faster."_

_"Really?" she asked hopefully, now clutching her precious pink calendar. "If time goes faster, then Mom and Dad will be home soon?"_

_"Yes, I believe so," Trisha replied gently._

_Winry launched to the older woman and kissed her cheek, "Thank you Aunt Trisha!"_

_Trisha giggled and gave the little girl one last hug before letting go. "You're welcome, Winry."_

_Winry grinned._

_"Winry!" a cry came from the stairs that lead to the second floor. Winry turned to find Ed moving towards them._

_"Ed!" Winry smiled and met him halfway._

_Ed pouted, "We're waiting for you upstairs! I thought you wanted_ _to play cards with us?"_

_Winry giggled, "Sorry!" she then turned to Trisha, "Good night, Aunt Trisha!"_

_Trisha smiled at the two children, "Winry, Edward helped me choose that calendar for you."_

_Winry blinked and turned to Ed, "Really?" her voice pitched in excitement and Ed winced. "Thank you, Ed!" she moved to gave him a hug but Ed stepped back in horror, his face strangely red._

_The older Elric turned to his mother, "Moooom! You promised not to tell!"_

_Trisha only gave her son her motherly smile._

_Winry tilted her head cutely, "Why won't you tell me, Ed? I will always thank you! I don't understand…."_

_Ed's face grew redder and he put one hand in front of him, waving it furiously. "Ah… Uh.. Uhm…,"_

_Winry scrunched her nose and frowned. "You're turning red Ed, do you have a fever?" she asked _in _concern. She moved to put her forehead to his (her mother used to do that), but Ed desperately moved back again until he hit the wall behind him._

_"D-don't touch me! I hate girl's disease!" he cried frantically._

_Her concern broke, "Whaaat!"_

_"Girls have cooties! Don't come near me!" _

_"I told you I don't have girl disease and you agreed!"_

_Still plastered against the wall, Ed cried back, too flustered to actually think of what he was saying, "…Just because you're always playing with wrenches and wires! You don't act like a girl!"_

_That did it. Winry reached inside the pocket of her skirt and pulled out a_ _shiny new wrench. "Eedd!" she sang dangerously._

_Edward barely had time to gulp loudly before scurrying upstairs with Winry hot on his heels, screaming bloody murder._

_Trisha only sighed with a smile and finished tidying up. Then she reached inside her apron's pocket and took out a blue pencil. She made her own big cross over the calendar hanging by the kitchen's cabinet._

_"Another day has passed, anata…" she whispered quietly with a secretive smile. _

_---_

**Ooo TBC ooO **

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A/N: I thought I wasn't going to do flash backs in this fic. p But I felt I had to put it there. And it seemed appropriate, now that our favorite three children remembered how to laugh again, D they would start to remember the happy little details of their past life. hope you enjoyed it!

Well.. this fic is certainly still up for more chapters. Since Ed had yet received his automail! ) please be patient, I haven't got the time to work on further chapter than this (I hate college… so tiring). But I'm not planning on abandoning this story!

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**Oooo DICTIONARY oooO**

Anata : you. (though many wives called their respected husband 'anata'. I think it's equal to 'darling' or 'honey' or something like that… you've got the picture. p)

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_Thanks to: _

__

**Sad4ngel, RobinRox13, sharon3264, ChibiRaccoon, xXsilentxwhisperXx, azndubz, candidus-lupus-full Moon, Nyago, and EdxWinry!**

_All review-replies shall be posted in my blog.. please go to my profile to find the link. I deeply apologize if I haven't put up replies to some of your reviews, especially to those who submitted theirs just recently!_

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**Thanks to Lady Riona for editing my chapter! (:D)**


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